If my garden is any indication of healing and growth, especially my front yard where all those perennial flowers are, as I stand there, I’m like, “This feels safe and this feels secure and,” guess what else? It’s beautiful. I have faith that my life will be beautiful like that. It will be rich, and the roots will be deep.
Anne Blythe, founder of BTR.ORG
When Hope & Healing Feel Impossible
When emotional abuse, betrayal, and resulting trauma are part of a woman’s life, the future may seem dim. Hope may feel impossible, and happiness like a myth.
However, as victims seek support and emotional safety, they become more able to tap into their own resiliency and strength.
Anne shares the empowering truth that, while the journey may be long and difficult, hope and healing are absolutely possible after betrayal and emotional abuse. Tune in to The BTR.ORG Podcast for more.
Offer Yourself Radical Compassion to Find Hope & Healing
Anne has grown a beautiful garden, but it took time for the perennials to fill in, for the holes she was digging to become host to strong roots, growing thick stalks and lush leaves.
Women in betrayal trauma can take heart in seeing how far they have come. Recognizing emotional abuse, accepting reality rather than the lies of the abuser, and seeking help and connection are all powerful indicators of a woman on her way to true peace and healing.
BTR.ORG Is Here to Help YOU Find Hope & Healing
At BTR, we know how daunting the first steps into your healing journey can be. We are here for you. Attend a BTR.ORG Group Session today.
Full Transcript:
Anne (00:00):
Welcome to BTR.ORG. This is Anne.
In 2015, after seven years of attempting to help my husband with his anger problems and his pornography addiction, he sprained my fingers and pushed me against the kitchen cabinets. During an argument, he was arrested for domestic violence. The judge gave him a no contact order, which is kind like a protective order, and that was the first time I’d ever conceived that he really was an abusive person. I waited, hoping for him to take accountability for his actions and to come back home to us and to change. To truly repent, he decided to file for divorce nine months later.
During that time, I prayed and prayed and prayed, and the only answer that I received was to start a podcast, which is how this podcast started. Also, I used to go by the name Anon, Anne Blythe is not my real name. My friend had a Facebook account with the name Anne Blythe named after Anne Blythe from Anne of Green Gables, and so I ended up adopting that Facebook account and I ended up adopting that name to represent all of us because my story is the universal story.
“The Obvious Symbolism of Faith”
(03:47):
The details might be a little bit different, but we all go through a period of denial and then we all go through a period of trying to help our husbands or support him, and then we all go through a period of thinking, no, I need to set boundaries. I just want to talk about my garden really quickly. I’m an avid gardener. I have nine fruit trees, five 12 by two garden boxes, a huge section of my garden in my front yard where I grow self-proclaimed prize winning pumpkins.
On Monday, my five-year-old son and I planted the corn. It was just such a sweet time to get dirty and hot. I dug the hole and he put the seed in and the obvious symbolism of faith that it takes to plant this seed that is so small and know that in a few months we’re going to have an eight foot stock with delicious corn on it.
“Every year they get better and bigger and more beautiful”
(04:41):
All my garlic is growing great, and I planted that in the fall, so planting a little bulb that the next year will turn into the most delicious, rich, buttery garlic. It’s called Romanian Red and it’s amazing and you can’t get to the store. In my front yard, I have irises and tiger lilies and can of lilies and salvia, every kind of beautiful perennial you can imagine. Every year they get better and bigger and more beautiful. It’s been almost three years since my ex’s arrest and back then my front yard and all the perennials were kind of sad. It was like three irises that came up, but now they’re gorgeous.
Everyone comments on how beautiful my garden is. I didn’t know that my garden would be so beautiful, but I had faith that it would be, and I dug things up and I split plants and I moved things around and had faith that my hard work would pay off and it has.
Peace in the Uncertainty of Trauma
(05:37):
I have not yet seen the hard work pay off with my setting boundaries. My life is still really hard. I’m a single mom of three kids. Life is hard every day. It’s hard to get dinner on the table. It’s hard to keep the house clean. And it’s hard to run BTR while I do that, it’s really stressful and very overwhelming. There are days when I sit on the couch and stare into space and then end up crying because I’m really overwhelmed. I’m still very nervous about the future.
I still don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but there is a lot of peace in it. If my garden is any indication, especially my front yard where all those perennial flowers are, as I stand there, I’m like, this feels safe and this feels secure, and guess what else? It’s beautiful and I have faith that my life will be beautiful like that. It will be rich and the roots will be deep.
“Maybe I will Evolve To Be Something Amazing Someday”
Anne (06:32):
BTR has evolved to be something amazing. My garden has evolved to be something amazing. Maybe I, sorry. Maybe I will evolve to be something amazing someday. Right now it just seems like I’m just still digging around in the dirt with nothing to show for it. Talk about late bloomer. I’m like the world’s latest bloomer, but maybe when I do, I’ll be like that big, beautiful Iris.
