When Anne Blythe, M.Ed. first started podcasting years ago, she wondered, “how to set boundaries with my husband?”. In this mind-bending episode, the healed Anne from today analyzes one of her old podcast episodes to point out to her from-years-ago self all the victim blaming she experienced.

In this early podcast episode, Anne shares her very first attempts at healthy boundaries. She refers to a 12-step program, “addict behaviors”, and sex addiction. Now, of course, we understand that abuse is NOT addiction, sex addiction therapists do NOT help abuse victims find safety, and 12-step programs can be harmful to women in abusive relationships.

True Boundaries Aren’t About Controlling Others’ Choices

“Every time my husband was abusive towards me, I thought that my boundary was giving him a lecture, literally like a 40 minute lecture about how terrible things were and how I was feeling and what he should do. I thought that’s what boundaries were.”

Anne Blythe, Founder of BTR.ORG

Transcript

Transcript

Introduction and Personal Reflection

Anne: It’s just me today. And I’m actually going to be analyzing in real time my own self from years ago.

Starting the Journey to Set Boundaries

Anne: You’re going to hear me describing how I started my journey to set boundaries

with my toxic ex.

Despite being victim blamed by my 12 step sponsor and my 12 step group. So, if you are wondering how to set boundaries with a toxic ex

listening to this will give you some insight into my process. Of how I came to really understand

How to set boundaries with my ex.

Early Podcasting Days

Anne: So when I first started podcasting, I was doing S-Anon, which is a 12 step group for wives are ex wives of. Porn addicts.

I was actually doing an S-Anon group that was specific to my faith. So this particular S-Anon group was called SALifeline.

And I was doing the 12 steps myself.

I was actually a 12 step sponsor. And then I also facilitated a 12 step group.

Understanding Abuse and Boundaries

Anne: You can hear that I talk about abuse, but I don’t quite understand it. This was before betrayal, trauma, recovery, as it exists now existed at all. It was just a podcast. Uh, so way back then I was podcasting in my basement.

I hadn’t yet brought on coaches for our group sessions in our individual sessions. I hadn’t created the living free workshop. I was trying to figure all of this out.

Reflecting on Past Episodes

Anne: Now, since this time I have gone back and removed most of these episodes, I started podcasting in 2016, but if you look on apple podcasts, It looks like I have not been podcasting that long it’s because as I’ve evolved over time, I’ve realized where I got it wrong, but I did save the audio recordings.

And that’s what you’re going to hear today. Back then I actually altered my voice because I was so scared. So hopefully you’ll hear the difference between me now and back then. And back then, I went by anon for anonymous instead of Anne. I actually, haven’t heard this recording in years, so. We’re going to go through this together.

I’m a little nervous, but here we go.

Initial Misconceptions About Boundaries

From-Years-Ago-Anne: So I didn’t know anything about boundaries before starting recovery. In fact, every time my husband abused me or every time he had a slip up, I thought that my boundary was giving him a lecture, literally like a 40 minute lecture about how terrible things were and how I was feeling and what he should do.

I thought that’s what boundaries were.

Anne: So my first thought is thank goodness that I stopped disguising my voice because I sound like a chipmunk.

When I’m talking about my recovery, I was like recovering.

From his porn addiction at this point, I think I’m not sure let’s keep listening and see what I say.

Learning True Boundaries

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I have learned since then that that is not what boundaries are at all. In fact, God was very merciful to me, and he taught me about boundaries in an extremely traumatic way by having my husband arrested and having a court ordered do not contact order. That was my first boundary I have ever had.

And it was God given. And then I had to make the decision about what to do with that boundary, to keep it, to not keep it, what that boundary meant.

First Boundary Experience

From-Years-Ago-Anne: For me, I realized that my boundary is, I need to keep safe and be safe while you continue to act out in this behavior.

Husband’s Lack of Recovery Behaviors

From-Years-Ago-Anne: In my husband’s case, once he was arrested, he did not show any clear signs of recovery behaviors.

There were a lot of things that he could have done. He could have texted every single day, for example, and said, What can I do today for the kids? He did not choose to talk with my dad, apologize to my dad about some things. There were several things he could do that he was legally able to do.

Anne: At the time, I was so sad that he was not doing any of those things. Cause I really wanted our family to be together.

I was so depressed about it.

I could not see how my life would ever get better. And now listening to myself, I’m thinking. Thank goodness. I’m so grateful that I did not get groomed. ‘ cause in my vulnerable state. Had he groomed me at that time by doing any of those things?

I’m pretty sure that his manipulation would’ve absolutely trapped me again.

Hm. All right. What else did I say?

From-Years-Ago-Anne: He did not show any signs of that. He did not put forth a plan of, uh, I realize that this is what happened, I’m very sorry, this is my plan for recovery, this is what I’m going to do to come back in the house. He never asked to come back in the house. So, for me, there was no way that I could do that. Remove or amend the do not contact order to be able to talk with him because he was not showing any recovery behaviors.

Anne: When I say, he’s not showing any recovery behaviors here. I’m a little bit concerned for myself because I’m thinking, are you just looking for him to check off some boxes?

And again, just so grateful that he wasn’t checking boxes.

That would have been really hard.

Defining Boundaries

From-Years-Ago-Anne: So what are boundaries? Boundaries are like fences between neighbors. They define the limits of a relationship. They provide safety and structure and define appropriate and inappropriate engagement in the relationship. They delineate responses to inappropriate or unhealthy behavior.

engagement or

interactions.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: So first let’s define what boundaries are and are not. Boundaries are used to define the limits of the relationships. Boundaries are healthy responses to violations of self. Boundaries are in place as trust is rebuilt in relationships. And boundaries are protection against repeated harm. Boundaries are not punishments.

They are not methods of coercing or forcing behaviors. They are not a way to avoid dealing with pain. And boundaries are not used to emotionally disconnect or isolate.

Boundaries vs. Misogynistic Victim Blaming

From-Years-Ago-Anne: So, when I was not practicing boundaries, my fear, my character defects of fear or control would crop up.

Anne: Um, there’s some

misogynistic victim blaming. I had been convinced that my fear and my wanting to be safe was part of a character defect I had. So that’s why you can hear me say my character defects of fear or control would crop up because in 12 step, I was taught that I was defective that I was sick.

And that my fear was a result of my sickness.

The truth is that I was actually super brave.

I’m willing to let go of control

because I was observing him from a safe distance at this time, and I was really, really brave.

Misinterpretation of Fear and Control

Anne: So having my sponsor tell me that I had this character defect of fear and control when. That was not the case at all. I was brave and I had let go completely.

Also if I did have any fear or desire to get to safety, it was because of his abuse, not because I had some kind of character defect. So there, I can see that I still haven’t quite figured that out yet. All right, go on.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: And rather than set a boundary for myself that I would turn to my sponsor, that I would do recovery behaviors, that I would surrender to God’s will and do self care. I would turn toward my husband and try and make him be safe. There were so many times where I literally got down on my hands and knees and begged him to love me and he looked at me and said no.

I won’t, or I begged him to be kind and he said, no, I’m not going to be kind to you.

Resisting Abuse

From-Years-Ago-Anne: And that only put me in a further state of stress and he was abusing me and instead of detaching from my abuser and setting a boundary and getting myself to a safe place, I could just continue to be abused by trying to force my abuser to be kind.

Because boundaries are important.

Warning Signs of Crossing Boundaries

From-Years-Ago-Anne: The opposite of becoming responsible for his behaviors or recovery, it is wise to self assess occasionally and determine whether or not you’re crossing the line into becoming responsible. Some warning signs that you may be crossing the line to becoming responsible for your husband’s behavior are providing constant reminders of the recovery behaviors he is supposed to be doing.

Anne: Wow. Wow. I mean. I was resisting abuse at the time. I wasn’t becoming responsible for his behavior. I was trying to find my way out of this. I was doing safety, seeking behaviors, resisting the abuse, resisting the abuse is not the same as quote unquote becoming responsible.

Misguided 12-Step Teachings

Anne: I’m almost wondering right now with this misogynistic sort of codependent, 12 step stuff that I was being taught. If kind of their intent was to get me to quote unquote back off of.

Resisting the abuse.

Because if I stopped resisting the abuse, he could just do what he wanted and still live in proximity to me. I dunno. I got to think about that. Let’s see what else I say about this.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I did that all the time, constantly. And I didn’t realize that I was taking the responsibility for his behavior. his anger, his abuse. I thought I was just quote unquote helping him.

Anne: You didn’t realize that you were taking responsibility for his behavior because you weren’t. You were trying to get to safety. You are resisting the abuse through trying to help him stop.

Emotional Reactions to Abuse

From-Years-Ago-Anne: Experiencing consistent intense emotional reactions to his lack of recovery behavior. Absolutely,

Anne: Well, isn’t that just like the ultimate euphemism. Rather than receiving the right framework to understand this from 12 step.

Due to their influence in my life, I was led to believe that it was my fault. That I was experiencing consistent, intense emotional reactions to his lack of recovery behavior rather than the truth, which was. I’m experiencing consistent, intense, emotional reactions due to his emotional and psychological abuse. There’s a huge difference in the way I was perceiving it then.

And how I now see it.

Realizing the Truth About Abuse

From-Years-Ago-Anne: when he would get into his rage or he would be irritable and I knew it was a lack of recovery behavior I didn’t have words for it back then but I knew, “oh no, something bad is coming” I would get so much fear and so much, you know, I was worried that my family would be destroyed.

I was worried that something super bad was going to happen and so I would go into control mode.

Anne: Wow. Wow.

So women who are out there who were thinking of these behaviors as their lack of recovery behavior or their childhood trauma coming up, or their personality disorder or something that might be the case. But for us, We experience it as abuse.

So the reality of that is when he would go into his rage or be irritable. Back then I said, I knew it was his lack of recovery behavior.

Wow. I mean, I did mention the word abuse, but it was not his lack of recovery behavior that was causing the fear. But it was this abuse that was causing the fear all these euphemisms that are used are incredibly mind bending, but these same euphemisms are used

In couple therapy and addiction recovery in churches. Nobody, I guess even me wanted to call it abuse back then.

So here I am saying, oh no, something bad is coming.

And I get so much fear. And then I say, I would go into control mode. Blaming myself rather than realizing I’m being abused and I have so much fear for good reason. This fear is not a result. Of my character defect. This fear is God given God is warning me. Something bad is going to happen. Get to safety. I was also interpreting that incorrectly.

So 12 step was not telling me to get to safety at all. The only thing they’re doing is basically saying stop resisting the abuse.

And I don’t think any woman in the world can stop resisting the abuse.

There’s always going to be a way that she tries to figure out how to resist it, even if she can’t resist it overtly.

Misguided Advice on Coping Mechanisms

From-Years-Ago-Anne: Punishing or shaming him into doing the things he has committed to do, basing your own commitment to recovery on whether or not he is doing his own recovery work, numbing out or disconnecting from your own emotions based on his behaviors.

Anne: Wow. So here I’m being taught that if I resist the abuse, I’m punishing or shaming him.

That’s like the worst thing to say to a victim. You’re not punishing your abuser by

resisting his abuse. You’re not shaming your abuser by resisting his abuse. And then basing your own commitment to recovery on whether or not he’s doing recovery work. I didn’t even need to be going to 12 step. So for them to tell me like, Hey, you need to come to 12 step, whether or not he does this, uh, I don’t need to come to a 12 step at all, period. End of story. And then numbing out or disconnecting from your own emotions based on his behaviors. Since I don’t enjoy pain. I don’t think I’m going to look an abuse victim in the eye and tell her. Hey, when you’re in so much emotional pain that you can’t stand it.

Too, too bad for you. Um, like for me, I tried to not numb out or disconnect, but I did need a break from the pain. And so I would watch television. I would go out with my friends, like it’s okay to numb when the pain is so intense. That you can’t really function. It’s okay to disconnect from your emotions for a minute.

Oh, wow. This is really hard to listen to.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: or controlling or manipulating. Now I did not know I was doing that at the time. I was. I just thought I was trying to serve my husband and help him and express my needs and there is nothing wrong with helping someone or expressing your needs or stating to your husband what your needs are my problem was that he was not safe in those moments and so I would be further abused

Anne: I am so close. So close.

I wasn’t safe in those moments. But instead, I think the cause is his lack of recovery behaviors rather than realizing that the causes is his abuse. And 12 step is telling me that I’m being controlling and that I’m trying to manipulate him. And I’m saying, I didn’t know I was doing it at a time.

It’s because I wasn’t,

I wasn’t controlling or manipulating anything. I was trying to get to safety by communicating with an abuser. It would have been nice to know that at the time.

But I am learning about boundaries. So let’s see what else I say about boundaries.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: so good boundaries will help you avoid these types of responses. Your own triggers in recovery and emotional responses may sometimes lead you to unhealthy coping. This might include emotionally disconnecting, punishing, controlling, or micromanaging others behaviors. Personal boundaries will allow you to make healthy choices in the face of powerful emotional triggers. I wish I knew that then.

Anne: Oh, the things you don’t know now, even Wow. Why is this such a process? Why is this such a process to understand what’s going on? My poor self.

There’s a euphemism again for abuse, powerful, emotional triggers. Those are just. Emotional and psychological abuse. Uh, personal boundaries will allow you to make healthy choices in the face of abuse.

And then they want you to avoid your quote unquote unhealthy coping, which would be emotionally disconnecting. Uh, no, you definitely want to emotionally disconnect from emotional abuse. Punishing. Which I guess is resisting the abuse. Like I’m not going to talk to the abuser. Controlling, trying to actually do something that will get you to safety.

Like.

Not being in his presence anymore. Or micromanaging others behaviors. The thing about micromanaging is in this context, you feel bad. They’re making it seem like I’ve got some kind of character defect. Rather than me realizing he’s not safe. So. Being in proximity to him is going to be harmful to me. But it’s not because I’m trying to micromanage anything.

It’s because I don’t know what else to do. And I’m resisting the abuse. And I just want to be safe.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I wish I would have been in recovery, but I wasn’t, and I, uh, am genuinely sorry. And I am looking forward to steps eight and nine so that I can Make amends for those things. Um, I’m genuinely embarrassed, actually, that I participated in those behaviors. When I honestly and authentically thought that I was helping my husband.

Anne: So adding onto the pain of being an abuse victim. Now I have compounded this guilt that I wasn’t in recovery for my sickness and that I had been participating in these like awful behaviors that. Aren’t awful at all. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

And then I say that I’m looking forward to making amends for resisting abuse and seeking safety.

And then I’m embarrassed. That I was resisting abuse.

And back then, I, I thought I was authentically trying to help him stop being abusive. So I was resisting abuse in that effort.

What else did I have to say back then?

Personal Boundary Statements

From-Years-Ago-Anne: Examples of personal boundary statements are, I can choose my responses to his slips or relapses. I do not have to allow my trauma to control how I respond. Instead of punishing or hurting him, I will take care of myself in a healthy way. When he has earned my trust, I will share with him my feelings and needs.

Reflecting on Trust and Detachment

From-Years-Ago-Anne: This was my main problem, is that I did not trust my husband, especially when he was in addict mode, when he was angry or irritable,

Anne: Another euphemism here, addict mode rather than abuse. So instead of saying the main problem was that he was abusive and I didn’t trust him due to his abuse. Instead I say, especially when he was in addict mode, when he was angry or irritable, Which equates to abuse.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: This was my main problem, is that I did not trust my husband, especially when he was in addict mode, when he was angry or irritable, and so I tried to make him trustworthy, which is taking responsibility for his actions. Or I tried to make him be compassionate or kind, and that never worked. Instead, I needed to detach.

Set a boundary, take care of myself in a healthy way, and then see if he worked toward earning my trust again.

Anne: The good news. I’m learning to set effective boundaries that over the years I have really perfected and now I’m completely safe. And I teach those in the living free workshop.

Victim Blaming and Character Defects

Anne: But where I was being victim blamed was when they were telling me that I was quote, unquote, allowing my trauma to control how I responded that was not happening.

I was interpreting it as some kind of character defect, rather than just seeing, Hey, I was resisting abuse. And I was doing the best I could. Thank goodness. This effective way to set boundaries.

Effective Boundary Setting

Anne: Works. So I did that and that did get me to safety eventually, even if I didn’t understand exactly what was going on even while being victim blamed in the process.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: When I finally did that, and let go, and observed from a distance to see if he would earn my trust again, he did not attempt to do that. From what I could tell, there was absolutely no attempts to earn back my trust.

Another one is I can decide when and how I begin to trust him again. I will work on my own recovery, regardless of his commitment to his recovery. Instead of zoning out and emotionally disconnecting when I’m in pain, I will reach out and share with others in my life who are safe. I think that’s essential.

I would always reach out to my husband. I rarely zoned out or emotionally disconnected, but my husband wasn’t safe. And so I reached out and tried to connect with someone who was emotionally unsafe, and that always put me in a very precarious position. I will choose not to be responsible for his choices.

And here’s one last example of a personal boundary statement. I can choose to love and accept myself even when his addiction affects the way I perceive myself.

Anne: The point of creating the living free workshop was to

explain effective boundaries in a way that was not victim blaming at all. That anyone enrolled could clearly see that all of these things were due to his manipulation and his lying.

And that she wasn’t at fault for any of it.

Because as I’m explaining this, some of it is right on. The problem is I’m not identifying that the abuse is what’s causing me to react in the way that I am, and my reactions are resistance to abuse and that is healthy and good.

Okay.

Story of Emotional Abuse

Anne: So I’m about to tell a story. That includes part of my faith, which is attending the temple.

The temple is all about love. And an eternal family.

And so when you hear me tell this story, basically, we’ve just been to this worship service. That’s focused on how Christ can help us feel connected to each other. And a few days before. We go to the temple when this incident That you’re going to hear. happens. But he hadn’t repaired in between.

Also before you hear the story

back then I hadn’t really like come to grips with what he was doing here.

Realizing Manipulation and Psychological Abuse

Anne: Now I know that this was this flat out manipulation and psychological abuse. He was trying to mess with my head. But he wouldn’t just tell me openly what his intentions were or what was going on. And so he was really trying to get me to react in an emotionally and psychologically abusive way because he had a goal in mind.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I’ve been thinking a lot about one night when my husband was extremely calm, and he came to me and he said, I know you’ve asked me your whole marriage to tell you that you’re beautiful, and the reason I have not said that is because I don’t think that you’re beautiful.

So I should have detached right then. And I’m like, okay, he is very unsafe, but instead I decided to engage with him and fight him and say, that’s not true. You do think I’m beautiful. And then he said this, and this is the part that hurt me so deeply. He said, well, physically you’re beautiful, but your personality and who you are, make you ugly.

Your face when you are scared or when you’re frightened and your personality and the way you interact with me and who you are from the inside is completely, I can’t. ever tell you that you’re beautiful. And I was absolutely devastated. I think that was the beginning of things getting really bad for us, and he never repaired that.

There was never a time. In fact, we went to the temple, And we did sea links, uh, uh, I don’t know how long after that. And we went to the celestial room, and we were holding hands, and I just could not do it. Because here was a man, who could not tell me that I was beautiful, who did not think that my soul was beautiful.

Even if he didn’t like my hair, or he thought I was a little overweight, he Could not bring himself to tell me that I was beautiful. To him, that was just totally lying, and I thought, I can’t be with someone like this. I remember standing up in the celestial room and walking off in pain and hurt, and being completely and totally hung out to dry by my husband, who just seemed fine and had never tried to repair that.

That was before I had boundaries. Now, I know that I would have set a boundary and said, okay, when I feel safe and when you can see me and when your perceptions of me are not abusive, because those perceptions in and of themselves, that’s what made him abusive, is the way he perceived me. He perceived me a certain way, that I was trying to hurt him or that my questions were shamey or whatever.

And really, that was what propagated the abuse.

Anne: That’s what I thought back then, but now I actually don’t think that I think he was lying. I think he was lying on purpose to harm me. To get me to react so that he’d have an excuse to go do what he wanted to do. I’m not sure exactly what he was doing, but he was leaving the house at night to go perhaps solicit prostitutes or maybe he was having an affair.

I’m not exactly sure. Cause he would leave and then we’d come home and I wouldn’t know what was going on, but now I know that he was lying on purpose. He didn’t necessarily perceive me that way, but he wanted me to believe that he did, because that would hurt me more than knowing that he was lying.

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I needed to set a boundary and tell he was not abusive. takes a long time and that has never happened. So I’m still setting those boundaries now.

Emotional Disconnection in Marriage

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I realized that I had never really felt emotionally connected. Like, there had never been a time in our marriage where I had initiated sex because I felt emotionally connected.

I was doing it just to keep, you know, just because I thought he would want to, not because I felt this deep emotional connection. And my husband rarely, rarely initiated. And when he did, it was because he was horny. Not because he felt emotionally connected with me in the last 10 months. My husband has not been safe enough for me to be with or even communicate with.

Importance of Enforcing Boundaries

From-Years-Ago-Anne: So implementing and enforcing boundaries is really important and that’s the hardest part. It’s easy to think about what boundaries you’re going to have, it’s easy to tell someone what your boundaries are going to be, but it’s very difficult to actually enforce them. Like I said, I did not have any boundaries before my husband’s arrest.

I was working toward figuring out what those were, and then God stepped in and said, Boom! This is gonna be your boundary, and I’m so grateful that he provided a safe means for my escape from my abuser. So addicts hate boundaries, and then they set boundaries, usually in order to disconnect or isolate. I sponsor a woman whose husband, when he is in addict mode, he says, My boundary is I’m leaving and I’m not coming back until tomorrow.

That’s abandoning your spouse. That is not a boundary and that is emotionally disconnecting and enables him to practice his addiction. Enforcing the boundaries are the hardest part. I was lucky enough to have the police enforce my boundary that I didn’t even know I had for me. Or the boundary that God created for me.

My husband was not choosing to protect me or our family and it has been destroyed. He filed for divorce on Monday. Of course, that’s not protecting our family either. It’s continuing down the path of destroying our family. And I’m very sad. Very, very sad. But that doesn’t mean that I will change my boundaries in order to be in contact with someone who is so unsafe that they would destroy my family.

So, boundaries right now are essential for me.

Challenges in Wives’ Recovery Process

From-Years-Ago-Anne: Defining and enforcing boundaries is often one of the more challenging aspects of wive’s recovery process. However, becoming adept at boundary work is often the defining process for wives. I work with a few women in recovery, I’m the sponsor to three of them, and they’re learning how to set boundaries and it’s very difficult.

Anne: As I’m talking about boundaries in the context of 12 step. The wives’ recovery process is interesting to me. It’s defining her as a wife of this guy, rather than helping her view herself as independent. Which was really important for me to do in the living free workshop to make sure that women knew you don’t need to be defined by the fact that you are married to an abuser or a porn addict or a sex addict. You are you .

So this recovery program, that’s saying a wives recovery process, rather than it

saying an individual’s recovery process or the more accurate way to say it would be an individuals healing from abuse.

Miracles of Setting Boundaries

From-Years-Ago-Anne: I’ve had a lot of women in group tell me that when they learned how to set boundaries and they actually set them and kept them until they felt safe, Miracles begin to happen . That is light and light repels darkness.

And it has been heart wrenching and basically felt like the gates of hell were gaping after me. It was very difficult to and it still is to maintain that My heart is so broken and I am completely, totally devastated by that.

Ongoing Trauma and Healing

From-Years-Ago-Anne: As my boundaries have improved, my sense of self has as well. My trauma is still very intense, but I think it will begin to lose its power over time. As I practice recovery behaviors, it doesn’t always feel like it’s working. In fact, I’ve had days lately where I’m just walking, like, down the hall, and suddenly, it’s like someone punches me in the stomach, and I start just howling, uncontrollably sobbing.

And I feel so alone, and I feel so completely abandoned by my husband and his choices, that he chose his addiction and his anger over his family. That he purposefully is destroying our family. I feel so much trauma. And I do surrender, I surrender, I keep my boundaries, and I still just am in this trauma place.

Faith and Recovery

From-Years-Ago-Anne: And I have faith that if I continue to read my scriptures, I continue to pray, I continue to attend the temple, which I’m doing, I continue to reach out, I continue to do connecting behaviors with my sponsor and friends and family, which I’m doing, that eventually I will be healed. I went to yoga this morning and I got a little mantra card from my teacher and it said, Your healing is already in process.

Anne: And it was, my healing was already in process. And even though I was not getting the education that I needed at that time about abuse.

I was starting to learn effective strategies that I used throughout the years.

Conclusion and Support

Anne: My life is completely different now.

I feel such peace on a daily basis.

But I remember the pain.

No matter where you are on your journey.

We’re here for you.