Leaving a narcissistic husband is a brave and difficult thing to do. It’s not just about ending your marriage—it’s about escaping lies and manipulation. If you’re looking for the best way to leave a narcissist husband, here are 4 important things to know.
1. Nothing is Wrong with You—It’s Not Your Fault
The first thing to know is none of this is your fault. A narcissistic husband thrives on making you feel like everything bad happening in the relationship is your fault. He’ll manipulate you into thinking you’re the problem.
However, you’re likely experiencing many of the 19 different types of emotional abuse. Take our free emotional abuse quiz to find out all the ways he emotionally harmed you.
But here’s the truth—no matter what he says, you didn’t cause his behavior, and you’re not responsible for fixing him. His narcissistic behavior is a choice.
2. Communication Won’t Help
If you’ve spent countless hours trying to explain your feelings or set boundaries, only to be met with denial, deflection, or outright anger, then you already know this—talking to a narcissist doesn’t work.
Narcissists don’t try to solve problems or see things from your point of view. Instead, they use conversations as a way to trick you, shift the blame, or make you doubt yourself.
Protect yourself from him exploiting your energy by focusing on creating a life of peace. To learn more about this type of abuse, listen to the #1 Betrayal Trauma Podcast.
3. Don’t Get Others Involved Thinking They’ll “Talk Sense” Into Him
Many women think it’s a good idea to ask friends or family to talk to their narcissist husband and try to make him understand. At first, this might seem like a smart plan. However, involving other people can go very wrong when dealing with a narcissist.
Here’s why—it’s likely he will try to trick them, just like he tricked you. Narcissists are very good at acting like the “good guy” to others. At the same time, they may try to make you seem unreasonable, too emotional, or even silly.
Trying to get others on your side will leave you feeling even more isolated.
Instead, keep your plans private. Seek support from people who are 100% on your team. Get the right support from a group of women who can totally empathize with you. Check out the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session Schedule.
4. You Need a Strategy
Leaving a narcissist is not as simple as packing a bag and walking out the door. Narcissists will do everything in their power to maintain control over you, even after you leave. That’s why having a clear, thoughtful strategy is critical.
The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Living Free Workshop will give you step by step instructions. It will help you see exactly what’s going on, so you can anticipate what he’ll do next. It will also give you thought, communication, and boundary strategies.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. There are people and resources ready to help you every step of the way.
You Are Powerful
Leaving a husband who is a narcissist isn’t just about leaving him; it’s about keeping yourself safe so he can’t hurt you anymore. It’s about building a future where you don’t feel scared all the time.
Take it one step at a time—use the Living Free Strategies to focus on what you can do today. If you’re still unsure how to start, visit Betrayal Trauma Recovery to find a supportive community for women experiencing narcissistic abuse.
Hi there.. My name is Celeste Paki-Newport, and I’m also LDS. I’m only 19 years old and I have a boyfriend who severely struggles with a pornograohy addiction. I love him more than anything and I am so grateful that he wasn’t secretive with me no matter how difficult it must have been for him to tell me he still went ahead and mentioned his addiction to me right in the very beginning of our relationship.. He has apparently struggled with his addiction ever since he was 10 years old. At first, I was in shock because I’ve never dealt with something like this before ESPECIALLY with someone I love and wanted as my eternal companion someday. It was all so new to me. But with the Lord’s help in the very beginning I somewhat was able to be there for him, guide him, trust him and just continuously pray for his recovery. Several months passed and I soon came to realize that praying seriously wasn’t enough. Trust was broken and my love for him was dimming because I had no idea how to cope with this… I felt broken beyond repair because even though I KNOW without a doubt he loves me with all his heart and shows me everyday.. his mind is hard wired to his addiction and it destroys me. Most people I’ve known to struggle through this have been married couples so for him and I to be pushing through this together as boyfriend and girlfriend soon to be engaged it is truly eye opening leading me to believe that we are dealing with something beyond our years but oh how wonderful it is to know that there IS hope for me and recovery for ME and strength and healing for people of all ages because unfortunately I am still suffering with the after affects of his porn addiction and he’s been attending his over the phone recovery meetings recently but I haven’t found anything that could possibly help me until today. My boyfriend Jonathan and I literally just said a prayer together about finding healing for me and I happened to find this site here and for that almost immediate answer to our prayer I will forever be grateful. I really need healing more than anything right now as he and I are soon to be married because we have a child on the way.. So all of these things tied together is a lot to manage but I have faith we can do it as long as we’re on the Lord’s side and with the help and recovery we need our new beginning to marriage and family life will be a joyous and exciting experience where we’ll already be able to handle these challenges and all that life may throw at us.