Nobody anticipates being a victim of actions that fit the institutional abuse definition. If you’ve experienced institutional abuse, here’s what you need to know.
You may not realize you’re experiencing this type of abuse. To understand the 19 different types of abuse that can happen systematically, take our free abuse quiz.
Institutional Abuse Definition
Institutional abuse happens when women are treated unfairly or not protected by an organization that claims to be a support to them, like religious or educational institutions.
This kind of abuse often happens when people in power use their position to hurt women who need their help or services. Sometimes, more than one person is hurt in the same way, and they might not even know others are going through it too.
Examples of Institutional Abuse Against Women
Institutional abuse definition doesn’t always involve physical violence, though it often does. It can take many forms, including but not limited to the following instances rooted in systemic discrimination and male dominance:
- Sexual assault or harassment by male staff or authority figures
- Denial of personal rights like dignity, independence, or choice
- Coercive control or abuse of authority to maintain power
- Confinement, strict routines, or unnecessary restraints
- Unsafe or degrading living conditions
- Neglect of essential medical care and procedures
- Verbal or emotional abuse such as belittlement or threats
Each case is unique, and the impact on different women varies. However, the goal of such abuse is often the same—to protect men and marginalize women.
Where Does Institutional Abuse Happen?
Institutional abuse can occur in any setting. Common places include:
- Religious organizations
- Schools or educational institutions
- Workplaces or volunteer organizations
Unfortunately, the abuse often goes unchecked because of systemic, misogynistic policies, traditions, and attitudes.
Systemic Misogyny and Institutional Abuse
Systemic misogyny is the root of all institutional abuse. This isn’t just about individual bad actors. It’s about flawed systems that overlook the rights, voices, and safety of women.
- Male authority figures leverage their positions to silence victims.
- Institutions often prioritize protecting the perpetrators rights over protecting survivors.
- Gaps in leadership, mentoring, and staffing leave women without advocates in these systems.
Signs of Institutional Abuse
To detect if an organization has policies or traditions that meet the institutional abuse definition, look for these red flags:
- Double standards for men and women
- Having more concern with the consequences to the man than to the women
- Not believing women without “evidence”
- Forcing victims to experience the consequences of his behavior, rather than forcing him to experience the consequences
Transcript: The Truth About Institutional Abuse definition
Anne: The institutional abuse definition is when women are hurt, treated unfairly, or not cared for when they go in for help from organizations that should help them. Organizations like religious organizations or educational organizations. Systemic misogyny is at the root of it.
A victim of institutional abuse will share her story today. We’re going to call her Haley. Her story is just one example of many examples that many of you have told me over the years, from different colleges and churches. In fact, I’ve heard a story similar to this with a Jewish friend and another from a Catholic friend. So this isn’t something that only members of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints, struggle with.
This happens in every religion. institution, college or workplace. We see themes of this type of misogyny and abuse everywhere. So I hope this episode highlights why abuse is so complex, and the fact that when people lack education about abuse, they make decisions that make it worse.
Haley is a graduate of Brigham Young University. The honor code office called her in during both her freshman year and her senior year. And each experience left a scarring impression on her and left her feeling totally alone.
After receiving her diploma, she felt safe to turn to the internet and share her honor code office experience. In just two weeks, her Instagram account went from 50 followers to close to 38,000. And over 1,000 students and alumni reached out to share their stories of systemic and institutionalized misogyny.
Welcome Haley.
Haley: Hi, thank you.
Haley’s Freshman Year Ordeal
Anne: Before we start. I received my associate degree from BYU, Idaho a million years ago. And when I went there, I loved the honor code. It helped me feel safe. For example, I felt so safe that my roommates weren’t allowed to have men in our apartment after 10:00 PM. Is that what it is? I don’t even remember.
Haley: I think they bumped it up to midnight.
Anne: Okay, so back then it was ten-ish. I appreciated that. Knowing that I don’t know what the honor code entails nowadays. I just wanted to let listeners know that this is not going to be an anti-honor code discussion. This will be a discussion about how the honor code is implemented, and how it’s harming victims of abuse in many ways. So let’s start with your story. And talk about meeting institutional abuse definition.
Haley: I felt the same way as you. I chose to come to BYU because there were different standards than other universities. I wanted to be in a safer environment. And I knew I was signing an honor code. But I didn’t realize that that meant you could be called into that office for anything and emotionally abused by that office.
Like you mentioned, I had two run-ins with the honor code office, one my freshman year and one my senior year. And both times I was just left feeling alone, like I had done something horrible. And after feeling like that my freshman year and keeping my mouth shut because I was embarrassed, I felt totally ashamed alone. So I kept quiet.
The Power of Sharing Stories
Haley: And then when they called me in again, at the end of my senior year, to put me back on probation, I felt like I was in a different place. I felt like it was my responsibility to speak out against what was going on. I had to wait to speak out until I got my diploma. Initially, I started just because I wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who felt the same way I did. I knew I had a few close friends and a few close family who had been through the honor code office and were treated poorly. And it met the institutional abuse definition.
So I gathered all our stories together, started this account and thought. You know what, even if only five students are in this account who realize they’re not alone. And not the only ones that office is victimizing. So it was like a support system. Even if five people could see it and feel like they weren’t alone, that would have been good enough for me. I know that you’re doing the same thing, allowing people to share their stories is healing for everyone. There’s something about being anonymous. You feel safe.
Being able to tell other people what happened to you and have other people say. I am so sorry. I had no idea. I’m here for you. I think that it is very healing.
Anne: Yeah, it is so healing. I’m so grateful that so many women are willing to share their stories on my podcast. And I’m grateful that you’re here sharing yours today.
Institutional abuse definition: Weaponization of the Honor Code Office
Anne: The first time a perpetrator you had a restraining order against was the one that turned you in to the honor code office. And the second time it was your abusive ex-boyfriend. Talk about how that felt to have the honor code office used as a weapon by abusive men. And having them instigate institutional abuse definition.
Haley: I had moved and moved 2.000 miles away and started school. The first time I got called in, I was told I was called in by a man from my past who had really hurt me. It was hurtful to sit on my counselor’s couch and tell her this was years behind me. Tell her who this man is, how he made me feel, and how I was scared of him. And how I wanted to put everything that had happened 2,000 miles away in my past behind me.
I sat on her couch crying and said, please take my side. Please have my back. Here’s how he’s affected my life for years now, and I need you to have my back. I don’t feel like what I’m being called in for is justified for being called in. But especially now that I’m sitting here telling you who it was that reported me, I need your protection.
And she responded and said, it didn’t matter how I got caught. What mattered was that the Holy Spirit wanted me to get caught.
As a freshman, 18, 19 years old, I was already terrified to be in there and felt from the moment I walked in that they weren’t on my side. I was sitting across from the stranger I didn’t know. Asking for help, and she told me it didn’t matter. That just felt sick. It was pretty discouraging.
Second Incident with the Ex-Boyfriend
Haley: And then the second time with the ex-boyfriend, it was frustrating because I told her, look, I have not talked to this kid in over a year. I’m so sorry for what happened. I’ve already dealt with it with my Bishop. I don’t understand why he can come in and jeopardize my future, education and diploma.
She took his side and told me, well, he’s the one that came in and he came in on his own goodwill and you didn’t. And it was frustrating too because he was Elder’s Quorum president at the time.
Anne: For our listeners, that is a calling within the church that puts them in charge of the men’s organization.
Haley: And she brought that up and wanted to remind me of his position in the church. And she told me that the Spirit wasn’t in my home. And so it was harder for both parties to keep the commandments. So an ex-boyfriend turned me in. To have his calling thrown in my face, it was pretty hurtful.
Anne: Wait, so she blamed you? Because apparently the Spirit’s not in your home. I’m being sarcastic here. The reason he acted poorly is all your fault.
Haley: Right, I mean, she’s accusing me, asking if I am going to church, what my calling is, and what my relationship is with God. But she wanted to remind me of his position in church, and then put me in my place. And just for all those reasons, it was so hurtful.
Anne: That is awful. I’m so sorry.
Themes from Other Victims’ Stories
Anne: I bet you felt so validated when people started sharing their stories. Because you ended up reading thousands of other victim stories about the honor code office. What were some themes that you noticed with institutional abuse definition?
Haley: I noticed a lot of people who don’t even want to talk to anyone about what happened, which is scary. Another theme is that when they go into that office, they feel like it is their fault. I have had so many people say, my counselor told me that this is because I did this. This is because I wore this and said this.
Anne: If he’s using sexual coercion, getting him out of your apartment by 10:00 PM would have been almost impossible. And then they might’ve said, it’s your fault that you were raped, because you let him stay longer than 10:00 PM in your apartment. I mean, there are so many elements with sexual coercion that people don’t understand.
Institutional abuse definition: Challenges in Reporting & Policy Implementation
Haley: They did try to separate the Title IX office and the Honor Code office. But unfortunately, people are still not reporting. Because they’re still afraid that when they go in there, somehow they get looped into the honor code office. And in many cases, it still has. BYU says their policy has changed, but unfortunately the policy is not what’s being practiced. What they are doing meets the criteria for institutional abuse definition.
Anne: We see that with bishops too. The policy is: we have no tolerance for abuse in the church. And yet victims say, my husband is using pornography. He is lying to me. He’s having sex with other women. It’s in the proclamation on the family, people who engage in infidelity and abuse will be held accountable. And instead, a bishop might say, what are you doing wrong? How could you help the situation?
Have you heard any stories where the victim had a good experience going to the honor code office?
Haley: I do have stories where women went in and said, “Here’s who it is, here’s what he’s done.” And BYU has expelled them. Someone that I’m close to has a similar story. Even though they expelled the man, she never heard from the honor code office again. And that’s another issue too.
If you are a woman and finally have the courage to tell BYU what’s going on. And let’s say best case scenario, they do kick this student out of school. I can’t speak for the whole school, but many of these students still say they’re not there for me. For the most part, they just don’t feel like the university has their back with this.
Advice for Current Students
Anne: So from your own experience and from reading all these stories that you’ve received, what would you want current students who are sexual assault victims to hear? Now that you know the institutional abuse definition?
Haley: I would first want them to know that they are not alone. I don’t know how comforting that can be for everyone. But I know at least for the people I’ve talked with, just hearing that this isn’t just happening to them. And there are other women out there who are feeling this way too. And people that you can turn to and trust and share your story with is really important.
Also, we do not want these stories to discourage students from turning in these kinds of cases. I have been told BYU’s victim advocate is doing a good job protecting students. I just want every sexual assault victim to know that it is not your fault. And that every time they speak up for what has happened to them, they’re speaking up for all the women behind them.
And so I just think it’s so important that we don’t lose faith. Don’t lose courage. We think BYU will try to figure out what the root causes are here, but until that happens, there are so many people on the outside waiting with open arms.
It’s been overwhelming and so heartwarming to see even other female students who will comment, DM me. Like, if this is your story, message me. I will take you out to lunch. I want to talk to you. I’m here for you. If you ever need anyone, send me a message to this Instagram.
We Want To Keep Victims safe
Haley: I just want them to know that there are people out there who care so much, love them, and want them to be on campus.
Especially when you’re in college, they’re very formative years. You just left home for the first time. And you are accountable for many things in many ways. Housing these students for some of the most formative years of their life. So I think while it could be a positive force for light, BYU’s mission is to enter to learn, go forth to serve.
And I feel like so many parts of BYU do that really well. But one of the most important, the honor code office is really messing that up.
Anne: I believe the church policies, at least about abuse, for example, are solid. They don’t want to tolerate abuse, but the way it’s interpreted by each individual or implemented is inconsistent. And then so many people say, well, I don’t believe you, a Bishop would never do that. And they did, they did do that. It’s very common, and it’s harmful to victims. Somebody said to me recently, I would have more respect for you if you didn’t disparage Bishops.
And I wanted to say, I don’t want to disparage bishops in any way. We want to educate people about what is happening, so that we can keep victims safe.
Haley: We love the church and the school. We don’t want to leave. Students know what they signed. So we’re not here to fight the standards on campus. We are looking for protection for our students within the honor code office. Something has to change.
Institutional abuse definition: Call to Action
Anne: I’m so grateful for you sharing your story and grateful for anyone willing to have an ongoing layered conversation about these topics. It’s not like we just talk about this issue once and then it goes away, right? It must be an ongoing layered conversation to make meaningful change.
Haley: Right, I appreciate it. Thank you so much. It was so good to talk with you. I would love to meet you one day. I enjoyed our conversation.
Anne: We’d love to hear your stories. If you’ve experienced institutional abuse, if you relate, comment below. You can also share your stories by commenting on our social media posts on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.
The bishops DISPARAGED themselves. Anne Blythe is bringing the hidden abuse to light. Thank you AnnE, don’t ever stop your saving efforts; just continue to ignore these counter-encouragements from the supposed ‘comforters.’