Are Your Kids Safe At Church? What You Need to Know

Your kids deserve to be safe everywhere they go - especially at church. Kimberly Perry is on the podcast diving into personal & institutional safety for kids.

Are your kids safe at church? Churches can teach children morals and ways to improve their lives. They can also present unique dangers.

Here are three things to look for when considering which church to attend.

1. Misogynistic Doctrines Put Everyone in Danger

Misogynistic teachings can hurt everyone, not just women. If your church teaches these harmful ideas, it might not be a safe place for you or your kids. Look out for these harmful and unkind ways people use scripture:

  • God created women only to serve men.
  • Women must submit to men, even if the men lie, cheat, or abuse others.
  • Society views men as unquestionable leaders ordained by God.
  • A husband can demand sex from his wife, regardless of the situation, her feelings, or preferences (this is sexual coercion, a form of sexual abuse).
  • A man isn’t abusive unless he hits someone.

There are 19 different types of emotional abuse. If you’re wondering if you’re experiencing emotional abuse from your church, take our free emotional abuse quiz.

Teaching these falsehoods disregards the worth and voice of women, while placing unreasonable value on men. A church that promotes such ideas may not foster the respect and fairness that everyone deserves.

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2. Is the Church Supporting Abuse Victims?

A church’s response to abuse can reveal a lot about whether it’s a safe environment. Sadly, some clergy mishandle these situations, putting victims at greater risk. Consider how your church responds:

  • Does the clergy share the victim’s accusations with the abuser (even in an effort to “help” him repent) instead of focusing on protecting the victim?
  • Are victims seen as the problem while abusers are believed?
  • Does clergy ask victims to forgive their abusers instead of providing tangible help, like money for food or shelter?

Support for abuse victims should always prioritize safety and healing—not reconciliation, which will put the victim at risk. If you’re experiencing trauma from the way your church is dealing with your abusive husband, you need support. Attend one of our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions TODAY.

Spiritual Abusers Want You To Think You're Rebellious

3. Red Flags That Indicate a Church May Not Be Safe

Look out for these warning signs that a church might be unsafe for anyone:

  • Double standards between men and women. For example, it’s reasonable that lust tempts men, but women who are tempted by lust are awful people.
  • Marriage over safety staying married is more important than maintaining physical or emotional safety.
  • Unhealthy obedience telling children they’re sinning if they don’t obey abusive parents.
  • Spiritual abuse if clergy or anyone else uses scripture to support the oppression of someone, or if someone doesn’t follow scripture themselves, but uses it to control others.

Your Children’s Emotional Safety Matters

Your church should be a safe and peaceful place, not somewhere that causes harm. If you see problems like this in your church, it might be time to look for a safer and more supportive community. Everyone deserves to feel valued and protected, with safety and care being the most important things.

Remember, it’s okay to ask questions and stand up for what’s right. If your church doesn’t think it’s okay for women to ask questions or speak up, it might be better to find a church where women are treated with respect. Your kids will be safer there too.

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2 Comments

  1. Jimmy Hinton is a pastor who ministered at the same church as his father, also a pastor had. When a member of the church told Jimmy that his father had molested her, he contacted law enforcement. His father is now in prison. Since then, Jimmy has worked to educate churches about how to keep safe. He also has a website with many articles. Most churches’ do not understand abusers and their policies are extremely inadequate.

    Reply
    • Wow, what a hope filled story of someone who could take action, taking action. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply

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