How Healing From Emotional Abuse Can Empower You
My Clergy Betrayed Me

When clergy turns on victims of narcissistic abuse, the secondary trauma can feel overwhelming. Hear June's story.

Victims of narcissistic abuse know that the abuse doesn’t end after the divorce; in fact, it often escalates.

For June, a member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery, the abuse became more emotionally devastating as her ex turned her faith-community against her. She joins Anne Blythe on the free BTR podcast to share her story of courage and boundary-setting in a time of intense trauma.

Learn three key boundaries that you can set to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse; read the full transcript below and tune in to the free BTR podcast for more.

Boundary Against Narcissistic Abuse: I Will Speak The Truth

Many women face trauma and frustration when their abusive ex-partners drag their names through the mud. Like June, too many victims have been shunned, dismissed, and blamed by clergy, friends, family, and therapists.

One powerful boundary that victims can set to minimize the damage of narcissistic abuse, is to determine that they will tell the truth.

Here are some ways that women can stay grounded in reality by speaking the truth.

How Can I Speak The Truth?

  • Journaling the truth
  • Confiding the truth in a safe friend
  • Joining a support group and sharing the truth there
  • Whistle-blowing to authorities

When victims of narcissistic speak the truth, even if it is in a journal that no one will ever read, they are staying grounded in reality and rejecting the manipulated reality of the abuser. This is important because it helps victims maintain their mental and emotional health.

Further, if women take their ex-partner’s exploitative and dishonesty behaviors to the proper authorities, they may be able to hold their abusers accountable. That outcome doesn’t always happen, and sometimes women are further harmed when authorities take the side of the abuser, as was the case for June:

I tried as much as I possibly could to be a whistle-blower in this situation and it seemed like I kept running into these brick walls.

June, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community

I Will Surround Myself With Support: Key Boundary To Help Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

When I started setting boundaries, I inevitably made mistakes along the way, as everyone does. I felt like I could come [to BTR Group] with a scenario, a real-life problem, and be directed into what my values were, what my boundaries should be around those values, and what that, ultimately, looks like in practice, and be supported in whatever boundary I chose. That was my boundary, and I was going to be supported in that. I knew I had backup, that was huge.

June, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community

Taking courageous action to join a supportive network of safe people is imperative for every victim of narcissistic abuse.

Narcissistic abusers condition victims to self-isolate, ignore self-care needs, and suffer in silence.

By rejecting this conditioning and actively participating in a safe support network, women are able to both cope with the acute trauma that accompanies abusive episodes, and ultimately begin healing from the abuse.

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: I Will Give Myself Patience & Time

It is difficult to heal from narcissistic abuse because even after divorce or separation, the abuser still tries to control and harm the victim.

When victims set a boundary to give themselves grace and time to heal, they are able to process trauma in a healthier way and build a stronger foundation of safety and self-love.

Healing takes time and healing can happen. You can get to a place where you can be in these situations again and it will be okay. It will be okay for you.

June, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community

How Can I Give Myself “Grace” While Healing From Narcissistic Abuse?

In theory, giving yourself grace may sound easy, but how is it practiced? Here are some ways that women can give themselves time and grace as they work toward healing from narcissistic abuse.

  • Don’t put any time limits on your grief, anger, or fear.
  • Fully experience the emotions as they come.
  • Speak kindly to and about yourself as you process the trauma.
  • Make note of the ways that you have become more boundaried and healthy and celebrate yourself.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

At BTR, we understand the depth of pain, terror, and grief that accompanies narcissistic abuse. No one should have to endure that pain and process that trauma alone.

That is why the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets daily in multiple time zones – to offer women a safe place to share their stories, ask questions, make connections with other victims, and process trauma. Join today and begin your healing journey.

1 Comment

  1. Anni K

    Time and distance makes all the difference to me. I believe that healing can only come from stopping the infection. Sometimes I’ve had to cut my losses and let go. However, even that causes deep wounds that need to heal. Mindset is also huge in the healing process. Blessings to June.

    Reply

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