Most women don’t think of her husband as a misogynist, but here are three examples of misogyny so subtle that you’ll be surprised to find out your husband likely does.
If you’re experiencing this type of psychological abuse and need support, we’re here for you. Attend a BTR.ORG Group Session TODAY.
3 Examples of Misogyny
In the age of increased awareness around gender equality, misogyny still subtly or overtly permeates many relationships. Misogyny, the ingrained prejudice against women, can manifest in various forms, some of which may be happening right under your roof. If you’re married to a man who displays these behaviors, it’s crucial to recognize them and understand their impact on your well-being.
1. He Wants You to Write Him a List
When a husband suggests that he’s happy to help, but only if you write him out a list, that’s an example of misogyny.
If your husband essentially forces you to carry the mental load of keeping up all household tasks and childcare, that means he thinks it’s your job “as a woman” and not his job because he’s, ahem, a man. This type of thinking is not only outdated and sexist, but also a subtle form of coercive control, which is a psychological abuse tactic.
Being burdened by this type of mental load is exhausting and can cause mental health problems like depression, anxiety, and stress induced illnesses like autoimmune disorders.
If a man’s misogyny causes him to be psychologically abusive in this way, he might …
What Misogyny Looks Like
Your husband continually asks you to write out lists for him, whether it’s grocery shopping, household chores, or even things he needs to remember for work. This behavior might seem harmless, but when it becomes a pattern, it can signal deeper issues.
What Misogyny Sounds Like
- “Can you make a list of things we need from the store?”
- “Just write down what needs to be done around the house.”
- “I can’t remember everything; I need you to list it for me.”
What Misogyny Feels Like
Over time, this habit can make you feel like you’re his personal assistant rather than his partner. It places the mental workload squarely on your shoulders, which can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and overwhelm.
2. He’d Rather Watch Pornography Than Be Intimate with You
Many women might not even know this is happening. What a woman might notice is that her husband doesn’t seem interested in her. He might give excuses like he’s tired or has a headache.
What Misogyny Looks Like
Your husband doesn’t initiate intimacy anymore. He spends long hours in his office. He seems to be a workaholic.
What It Sounds Like
- “I’m just not in the mood tonight.”
- “I had a long day.”
- “I have a ton of work to do. You go to bed. I’ll come when I’m done.”
What Misogyny Feels Like
This behavior can make you feel unwanted, unattractive, and inadequate. It undermines the emotional and physical intimacy that is foundational to a healthy marriage, leaving you feeling isolated and unloved.
3. He Has Double Standards & You Always Get the Short End
If your husband has double standards, you always get the bum deal, that’s an example of misogyny. Your husband holds you to different standards than he holds himself. For example,
Examples Of Misogyny
He may expect you to keep the house clean while he leaves his belongings everywhere, or he might criticize your spending habits while he’s lavish with his own purchases.
What It Sounds Like
- “Why can’t you keep the house tidy?”
- “You spend too much money on clothes.”
- “I need my hobbies, but you don’t need yours.”
What Misogyny Feels Like
Living with double standards can leave you feeling undervalued and unfairly treated. It creates an imbalance in the relationship where your needs and contributions are consistently minimized.
These examples of misogyny may help you recognize that you’re experiencing psychological abuse. If your husband is difficult, consider listening to The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast.
For strategies to deal with this type of abuse and establish peace in your home, enroll in The BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop.
I was a very young naive woman of 19. I married a man who was ten years older than me. He was Jewish. I was protestant, but new to religion. I had been raised with no religion.
He had affairs and impregnated other women. He left me for one of the women he impregnated.
I was expecting our second child. I moved into an apartment with the children. When I reached out for spiritual help the terrible pastor came to visit and verbally propositioned me – with two children in the room. I lost any faith in his church … you’re absolutely right. A the time I had no friends. I was totally vulnerable. I had two children nine months apart. I was in terrible shock. It was a terrible reality. The pastor wanted to try to take advantage of my poverty, my brokenness.
Today I’m 66. My life was profoundly difficult after becoming a very religious oriented person. I was marginalized and still am. Still trying to heal from spousal abuse. I was abused by another husband as well.
I have known many abused women – religious women who are sexually abused by their so-called “righteous” husbands. I suffered from so much spiritual abuse. I’m justifiably distressed about religion, but still need to develop a support network. Women always need to be a part of a supportive family. It’s crucial to find a support group.
We recommend our daily, online support group for women who have suffered from emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and spiritual abuse. You’re welcome here!
Yes to all of this…..My question for Anne would be, “What are we going to tell our young women? Women who want to get married and have children. Or just who want to have children?” Are we going to tell them to get artificially inseminated? To find a few girlfriends to raise their kids with? Really…..My teen wants to get married young and have 12 kids….How does she want this after seeing what her dad has put me through, I don’t know….I don’t know how to advise her. The numbers are not in her favor. No one is talking about the this. Misogyny is ramapant and no one seems to care.