Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Podcast Episode:

How Do I Know If My Husband Is Taking Advantage Of Me? 3 Signs

If you're wondering if your husband is taking advantage of you, it can be hard to figure out. Here are 3 signs to look for.

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Are you wondering if your husband is taking advantage of you? You may have turned to marriage books for help.

The book, Married Sex, raised some serious concerns. Women who are being exploited by their husbands may feel confused by the damaging messages purported by this and other marriage and sex books. At BTR, we want to make it clear that it’s not okay if your husband is taking advantage of you. You’re NOT your husband’s object. You are a human being.

Any book, sermon, or website that counsels you to submit yourself sexually to another person in order to protect yourself from betrayal is abusive. Here are 6 reasons why it’s not okay if your husband is taking advantage of you.

1. Your Husband Is Taking Advantage Of You If He Says You’re Responsible For His Fidelity

Are you responsible for your husband’s fidelity?

Absolutely not.

If your husband has told you or implied that if you don’t have sex with him, he will cheat on you – whether with another person or with pornography – you’re being sexually coerced.

Sexual coercion is sexual abuse.

Too many women are coerced into sex because they are afraid that their partner will betray them if they don’t comply.

2. When Church Leaders & Authors Imply That It’s Fine That Your Husband Is Taking Advantage Of You

When this dangerous threat is condoned by religious leaders and authors, like Gary Thomas, women are severely traumatized and more likely to comply with their husband’s demands because they feel unsupported by their faith communities. They may experience:

  • Sexual pain
  • Illness, including STDs and STIs
  • CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
  • Rape Trauma Syndrome
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Suicidal ideation

3. Have You Been Told You Were Created For Your Husband To Use?

The devastation that women feel when they seek help from an organization, religious leader, or marriage book – and find only blame, traumatizing advice, and excuses for the abuser – is overwhelming and confusing. Have you been told it’s your job to take care of your husband through self sacrifice, when taking care of him is truly dangerous to your soul?

And tragically, it’s all too common.

You’re not alone if you have come across some truly despicable counsel in your journey seeking help and peace.

An Army Of Advocates

At BTR.ORG, we stand beside the brave voices that declare that sexual betrayal and sexual coercion is not your fault.

You were not created for your husband to exploit and abuse you.

Your body is yours. Your body, heart, and mind are yours. If you relate, you need support. We created a safe space for you to share. Attend one of our daily, online Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions TODAY.


  • My Husband Won’t Stop Lying To Me – Angel’s Story
  • My Husband Is Paranoid And Angry – Louise’s Story
  • What Does Jesus Say About Abuse? Points From The Bible
  • How To Deal With Narcissistic Abuse In Marriage – Ingrid’s Story
  • Think Shame Is the Cause of Cheating? Think Again.
  • Husband On Phone All The Time? His Online Choices Could Hurt More Than Just You
  • Is Marriage Counseling Going To Help? Here’s How To Know
  • 7 Things To Know When You’re Mad at Your Husband
  • Why Is My Husband Yelling at Me? – Cat’s story
  • What Are The 4 Stages Of Betrayal Trauma?
  • Is Online Infidelity Cheating? – 7 Things The Research Confirmed
  • Psychological Abuse vs Emotional Abuse – What You Need To Know
  • Is It Wrong To Check Your Husband’s Phone? – Jenna’s Experience
  • Stages of Anger After Infidelity – How Anger Protects You
  • What Is Post Separation Abuse? – Marcie’s Story
  • The Long-Term Effects Of A Bad Marriage – Florence’s Story
  • Patterns To Look Out for In Your Relationship with Dave Cawley
  • Warning Signs Your Husband Is Dangerous – Susan’s Story With Dave Cawley
  • How To Protect Yourself Financially If Your Marriage Is Struggling
  • What Is A Therapeutic Disclosure? What You Need To Know If Your Husband Is An Addict

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    • My Husband Won’t Stop Lying To Me – Angel’s Story
    • My Husband Is Paranoid And Angry – Louise’s Story
    • What Does Jesus Say About Abuse? Points From The Bible
    • How To Deal With Narcissistic Abuse In Marriage – Ingrid’s Story
    • Think Shame Is the Cause of Cheating? Think Again.
    • Husband On Phone All The Time? His Online Choices Could Hurt More Than Just You
    • Is Marriage Counseling Going To Help? Here’s How To Know
    • 7 Things To Know When You’re Mad at Your Husband
    • Why Is My Husband Yelling at Me? – Cat’s story
    • What Are The 4 Stages Of Betrayal Trauma?

      The most comprehensive podcast about betrayal trauma, Anne interviewed over 200 women (and counting) who bravely shared their stories. New episodes every Tuesday!

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