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3 Tips As You Co-Parent With Your Abusive Ex

Fear, frustration, apathy, grief. You'll likely experience a wide spectrum of emotions as you try to coparent with your abusive ex. 3 tips to help you navigate.

Fear, frustration, anger, apathy – victims of abuse experience a wide range of deep emotions when trying to co-parenting with their ex-husband.

If you, like many women in our community, are exhausted from striving for peace and mutuality only to run into the same barriers again and again, check out our 3 tips as you co-parent with your ex.

Process Your Trauma with Healthy People – Not Your Ex

Often, abusers will try to provoke emotions and hijack your mental wellbeing at every opportunity.

Seek support from the safe, healthy folks in your life who can help you process your trauma, express your emotions, and work toward healing.

Remember to Document, Document, Document

Documentation can feel overwhelming and stressful – we recommend using the journal function on the Our Family Wizard app. By documenting consistently, you’ll be able to spot patterns of behavior that can help you better understand your situation and know how to move forward in your journey toward peace.

Practice Radical Self-Care

Remember that your emotional, physical, mental, and financial safety and peace are important – prioritize yourself and your needs as you navigate this difficult part of your life.

Basic self-care that greatly benefits women in our community, includes:

  • Breathwork
  • Stretching
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Drinking water
  • Eating a healthy meal
  • Listening to The BTR.ORG Podcast for validation, information, and community

BTR.ORG Is Here For You

At BTR, we know the stress, grief, and sorrow that can come as you try to coparent with an abusive ex. We are here for you. Consider attending a BTR.ORG Group Session today.


  1. anonymous

    Which podcasts new the continuation of the series please? What is the name and date of this series? Thank you.

    • Anne

      We haven’t recorded them yet:). We’re still in the process of doing that. Stay tuned!

  2. Tabitha

    This is my story, right down to the “pretend parenting” , constant gaslighting (triggers) and refusal to pay the child support as ordered through the court. He Likes to put it in my mailbox and gloat about it! Oh and porn abuse I witnessed for years!

    How do I find Sara’s groups?

  3. L

    Thank you for this! I can really relate to concept of feeling like I am being mean just because I am setting boundaries. Very helpful podcast!

    • Anne Blythe

      I’m so glad you found it helpful!

  4. FlMom

    Excellent Podcast. Wish I could share with my last “collaborative” lawyer who was basically scared of him. So many women need this advice early on but don’t get it. It’s very hard in FL where they push coparenting communication at all costs. You have to find the right professionals and most importantly, stay the calm, quiet, non reactionary one through all of their crazy. 6 yrs, 3 pc’s, a Corrupt Gal, several professionals on my side and he just gets worse and worse. I stay silent and get stronger. Hardest thing is not defending yourself against crazy accusations. Keep moving forward.

    • Anne Blythe

      I appreciate you sharing. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. So many more women need to know about what to expect so they can avoid at least some of the things we had to go through.


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