If you’ve discovered a secret about your husband, you need to know how a man reacts when he’s caught lying.
Understanding these reactions can help you make sense of the situation and take steps toward emotional peace.
Common Reactions When a Man is Caught Lying
Recognizing your husband’s reactions when caught lying can help you decide on the best course of action.
1. He Calls You Crazy
The most common tactic he’ll use is to undermine your perception of reality. By calling you crazy, he deflects the focus away from his actions, placing the blame on you instead. This gaslighting technique can leave you questioning your sanity and doubting your instincts.
He may tell others that you’re crazy too, isolating you from support.
2. He Claims You’re Not Remembering Correctly
Another method of deflection is to insist that you have your facts wrong. By questioning your memory, he seeks to create confusion and doubt, hoping you’ll back down from your accusations.
3. He Says There’s Another Side to the Story
When confronted with the truth, some men attempt to reframe the narrative by suggesting that there are two sides to the story. By doing this, they aim to sow doubt and present themselves as a victim or “just” misunderstood.
When someone is lying, there aren’t two sides to a story. There is only truth.
4. He Undermines Your Credibility
In efforts to protect themselves, men may attack your credibility, telling others that you’re not trustworthy or reliable. This tactic serves to isolate you and make it harder for you to seek support or validation.
5. He Accuses You of Not Trusting Him
When caught lying, a man might try to turn the tables by accusing you of not trusting him. This shift in focus can make you question your judgment and feel guilty for even bringing up the issue.
6. He Claims You Don’t Respect Him as a Man
By alleging that you’re disrespecting him, he diverts the conversation away from his actions and makes it about your behavior. This tactic aims to pull your attention away from the real issue: his lies.
Understanding the Bigger Picture
Lying in marriage is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. For some women, they can be experiencing decades of this type of abuse from their husband, especially if he’s hiding his pornography use or affair.
It’s sad that when a man is confronted about this type of abuse, he reacts with the same abusive lies.
You’re Not Alone
If you’ve experienced these responses, know that you’re not alone. Many women in our Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR) group sessions have faced similar situations. The isolation, fear, and frustration you’re feeling are valid and need to be processed.
Being believed and supported is the first step toward reclaiming your peace.
Being called crazy or untrustworthy can be deeply hurtful. It’s crucial to find spaces where your experiences are validated, and your emotions acknowledged. This kind of trauma needs to be processed with the right support.
When He’s Caught Lying, Here’s How To Know The Truth
The brave women at Betrayal Trauma Recovery developed strategies for women to use when they suspect their husband is lying. To determine what’s going on, enroll in the BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop. Gain insights, and learn strategies to protect yourself and your children.
Catching your husband in a lie can often result in him using manipulation to cover his tracks.
If you’ve been called crazy or had your credibility undermined, it’s vital to connect with others who understand. Attend a Group Session TODAY.
This was so beautiful and inspiring! I found myself quite emotional as I was able to see parts of my own current situation in her story. Thank you for Kate and Anne for reaching and lifting us! I wanted to keep listening.
My heart quakes as I hear of more evidence of we women being treated as second and third class citizens, and even treated as non-individuals without rights. I grieve for us, as I also celebrate us, and all that we have accomplished. We have coe so far, yet have a long way to go! I still fight with credit card companies to have the card in my name only, only to later find out they’ve added my husband‘s name. Somehow I find the credits and bills have his name listed first. It’s insane! Together sisterhood!