How Faith And Hope Build Resiliency And Promote Healing
The History Of Betrayal Trauma Recovery – A Legacy Of Hope & Faith
For those of you who are newly familiar with Betrayal Trauma Recovery, I want to give you a brief history of how this site and how Betrayal Trauma Recovery evolved. In 2015, after seven years of attempting to “help” my husband with his anger problems and his pornography addiction, he sprained my fingers and pushed me against some kitchen cabinets during an argument.
He was arrested for domestic violence. The judge gave him a no-contact order, which is like a protective order. That was the first time I’d ever conceived that he really was an abusive person.
I waited, hoping for him to take accountability for his actions and to come back home to us, and to change, to truly repent. He decided to file for divorce nine months later. During that time, I prayed and prayed and prayed, and the only answer that I received was to start a podcast, which is how this podcast started.
How Faith Aids In Recovery
At the end of 2016, Betrayal Trauma Recovery became a non-profit, and six APSATS coaches came on board. The coaches were very good at coaching. They knew the topics that they wanted to coach on. We knew what women needed, but we didn’t exactly know the best way to go about it. We’ve been through several different phases.
For example, if you listen to the beginning podcasts, you’ll hear us talking about free consultations. We were so inundated with those that we had to stop. Also, I used to go by the name Anon.
Anne Blythe is not my real name. My friend had a Facebook account with the name Anne Blythe, named after Anne Blythe from Anne of Green Gables. I ended up adopting that Facebook account and I ended up adopting that name to represent all of us, because my story is the universal story.
The details might be a little bit different, but we all go through a period of denial, and then we all go through a period of “help” our husband’s or support him. Then we all go through a period of thinking, “I need to set boundaries.”
Faith Should Support Healing From Trauma
Anyway, then we decided to do Betrayal Trauma Recovery Club, which was awesome, and then we found that that name was confusing people, because who goes to a “club” for this. It’s like the worst club ever, but also the coolest. We found that support group works better, so we changed the name to Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.
You can see it on the website as daily support groups. It’s all the same thing, it’s just our group that happens every single day. We also have two sessions on Tuesdays and two on Wednesdays. Women come to online from all over the world. They can get to know our coaches and get immediate help and assistance as they need it. You can also schedule individual sessions, which we used to call support calls.
If you listen to the whole podcast, you’ll be like, “Wow, they call things different names,” because, as we have evolved, we’ve realized better ways to serve you, based on your feedback and based on your needs. I really appreciate your patience.
I’m so grateful for this new chapter of Betrayal Trauma Recovery with the summer starting. I just want to talk about my garden really quickly. I am an avid gardener. I have nine fruit trees, five 12x2 garden boxes. A huge section of my garden in my front yard, where I grow self-proclaimed prize-winning pumpkins.
Hope In The Future Can Bring Peace
On Monday, my five-year-old son and I planted the corn. It was just such a sweet time to get dirty and hot. I dug the hole and he put the seed in. The obvious symbolism of faith that it takes to plant this seed that is so small and know that, in a few months, we’re going to have an 8-foot stalk with delicious corn on it.
All my garlic is growing great, and I planted that in the fall. Planting a little bulb that, the next year, will turn into the most delicious buttery garlic—it’s called Romanian Red and it’s amazing and you can’t get it at the store.
In my front yard, I have irises and tiger lilies and canna lilies and salvia, every kind of beautiful perennial you can imagine. Every year, they get better and bigger and more beautiful. It’s been almost three years since my ex’s arrest. Back then, my front yard and all the perennials were kind of sad, there were three irises that came in, but now, they’re gorgeous.
Everyone comments on how beautiful my garden is. I didn’t know that my garden would be so beautiful, but I had faith that it would be. I dug things up and I split plants, and I moved things around and had faith that my hard work would pay off and it has. I have not yet seen the hard work pay off with my setting boundaries.
Having Faith And Hope Builds Resilience
My life is still really hard. I’m a single mom of three kids. Life is hard every day. It’s hard to get dinner on the table. It’s hard to keep the house clean. It’s hard to run BTR while I do that. It’s really stressful and very overwhelming.
There are days when I sit on the couch and stare into space and then end up crying because I’m really overwhelmed. I’m still very nervous about the future. I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but there is a lot of peace in it.
If my garden is any indication, especially my front yard where all those perennial flowers are, as I stand there, I’m like, “This feels safe and this feels secure and,” guess what else? It’s beautiful. I have faith that my life will be beautiful like that. It will be rich, and the roots will be deep.
Hope Is An Important Part of Healing
Oh my gosh, BTR has evolved to be something amazing. My garden has evolved to be something amazing. Maybe I—sorry [crying]—maybe I will evolve to be something amazing someday. Right now, it seems like I’m just still digging around in the dirt with nothing to show for it. Talk about late-bloomer, I’m the world’s latest bloomer. Maybe when I do, I’ll be like that big beautiful iris.
Okay, I have some super cool podcasts coming up. One with Gary Wilson that will blow your mind about how shame does not cause addiction, and about how pornography addiction is not an attachment disorder. I am so excited for you to hear this.
I’m going to air it next week, and it has some serious sound problems, so I want everyone to pray right now, just say a silent prayer, that we can all listen to it and we won’t notice how bad the sound is, because it is one of the podcasts that I’ve recorded yet, and I can’t wait for you to hear it next week.
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Until next week, stay safe out there.