Betrayal Trauma Victims Suffer Deeply During the Holidays
Emotional abuse victims find that it is particularly difficult to endure the pain of trauma during the holidays. Memories associated with their abuser during the holidays can lead to painful physical and emotional reactions. Harmful interactions with their abuser can lead to severe trauma responses.
Emotional Abusers Use Weaponize Holidays
Abusive men, because of their narcissistic traits, tend to commit more abusive acts against their partners during the holidays, partially because they can’t handle it when their partners focus their attention on anything besides them (the abusive male). The holidays are a time when victims are focused on many other things that make them happy, and abusive men can’t handle that, so they tend to create more chaos.
Victims of Emotional Abuse Can Seek Safety Through Appropriate Boundaries
BTR believes in a woman’s right to her own emotional, physical, sexual, and financial safety. While we cannot control the actions of others, we can protect ourselves and our children from their abusive behaviors.
Many women find that as they set and maintain appropriate boundaries, they are able to protect themselves from abuse. This allows them to experience safety, which is the prerequisite to healing and peace.
Some helpful boundaries to victims of emotional abuse during the holiday season may be:
- When my body goes into a trauma response, I will honor that feeling and call a trusted friend to share my feelings and experiences.
- I deserve to be treated with respect at all times and seasons of the year: no matter what is happening or what day or night of the year, if someone is yelling at me, I will leave the room/house.
- My children and I must live in a home free of pornography; because my partner is using pornography, I am asking him to move out.
- I love myself. I surround myself by others who love me. If someone who is supposed to love me is abusing me, I choose to not associate with that person any longer.
- (In the case of a divorced victim) Even though I may not have my children with me this holiday, I will honor myself and my motherhood by _____.
BTR.ORG Supports Victims of Emotional Abuse
Our BTR.ORG Group Sessions are available to you every day – please attend a session today for support.