Many women hope for a full and honest disclosure from their abusive partner. They want to know the extent of the betrayal so that they can determine how to move forward.
At BTR, we understand that disclosures can be trickled, manipulated, and ultimately used to further abuse a victim. Learn the 3 important facts about disclosures so that you can determine what you need to find safety.
Disclosures Can Be Traumatizing
If your partner has betrayed you by using pornography, it is important that you take immediate steps to protect your body, mind, and heart from further damage.
Requesting a disclosure is one way women seek safety, but understand that disclosures can be traumatizing for several reasons:
- Abusers often use the “trickle” method to only disclose small bits at a time, which causes emotional and mental havoc in victims’ lives.
- Abusers may use the disclosure process to take on the victim role, which is emotionally and psychologically abusive to the victim
- Abusers usually lie during the disclosure process, which means that victims undergo immense trauma for partial truths
What Should I Do Instead of Asking For A Disclosure?
When victims put their own safety first, they don’t put their health and safety in the hands of their abuser. They don’t rely on the disclosure process. Instead they:
- Trust their own intuition
- Set “worth” boundaries, for example: I don’t need to know all of the details of the betrayal to protect myself from further abuse: I am worth more than any degree of betrayal
- They use safe resources to seek validation rather than their abuser
BTR Is Here To Help You
At BTR, we understand the complexities and trauma that can accompany disclosure.
Every victim of betrayal and abuse deserves a safe place to process trauma, ask questions, share stories, and create connections with other victims. The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets daily in every time zone. Join today and receive the validation, compassion, and support that you need as you go through this process.