Here’s the Truth: You Deserve Love And Respect

When a woman experiences emotional abuse and betrayal trauma, her self-worth takes a beating. She can find healing and self-love again: BTR can help.

You deserve love and respect. It’s easy to forget that when you have experienced
intimate betrayal and emotional abuse.

We want you to know that your husband’s betrayal and abuse has nothing to do with you. Read on to learn how to restore your self-worth.

“Lundy Bancroft says, ‘No woman can be understood by the man who is bullying her.’ He just cannot see her for who she is, so his perceptions about her and the way he interacts with her, is not a reflection of who she really is.
Because, to him, she’s not a person. It’s a reflection of himself, so he can’t see her clearly. Being perceived as ugly by their abusive spouses will absolutely make women feel terrible.”
Anne Blythe, founder of BTR.ORG

How Do Emotional Abuse Victims Suffer?

Betrayed women suffer deeply in many ways. As they process trauma, their bodies, brains, and emotions can experience a range of debilitating symptoms. Their relationships, careers, and hobbies suffer as they try to survive.

One of the most exquisite agonies that victims feel is the damage done to their self-worth and self-love.
Can you relate?

Why Do I Feel So Worthless?

Betrayal trauma victims often ask, “Why do I feel so worthless?” They feel ugly, unwanted, unimportant, and alone. Often, they are embarrassed about things they used to be proud of.. They used to feel attractive and confident. Now they feel exposed and inferior.

How Does Emotional Abuse Damage a Woman’s Self Esteem?

Victims may compare themselves to pornographic images, affair partners, or “fantasy” partners
They may blame themselves for their partner’s abusive behaviors and berate themselves for perceived flaws
Victims may take to heart the abuser’s verbal abuse, believing that he “means well” or is operating on terms of a mutually loving relationship
Victims become accustomed to the abuser’s narcissistic view of the world. They accept (out of survival) their role as a second-class citizen, with the abuser as the center of the universe

Can I Learn to Love Myself Again?

A courageous first-step toward self-love is to establish safety boundaries. Boundaries are not statements, requests, or ultimatums. They are actions that we take to move toward greater emotional and physical safety.

Emotional safety is a baseline requirement for victims to begin to heal and love themselves again. Working toward self-love can also include:

Prioritizing radical self-care, including nutrition, hydration, and rest
Prioritizing medical care
Meditation
Seeking daily support
Developing confident knowledge regarding abuse and betrayal
Developing daily affirmations to ground yourself in reality: “I am worthy of acceptance and love, exactly how I am right now.”