You Deserve Love And Respect

by | Self-Care

You deserve love and respect. It’s easy to forget that when you are betrayed and abused. 

Your self-worth can be restored. You can find yourself again. 

Your husband’s betrayal and abuse has nothing to do with you. Read on to learn how to restore your self-worth.

Lundy Bancroft says, ‘No woman can be understood by the man who is bullying her.’ He just cannot see her for who she is, so his perceptions about her and the way he interacts with her, is not a reflection of who she really is.

Because, to him, she’s not a person. It’s a reflection of himself, so he can’t see her clearly. Being perceived as ugly by their abusive spouses will absolutely make women feel terrible.

Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Emotional Abuse Victims Suffer, A Lot

Betrayed women suffer deeply in many ways. As they process trauma, their bodies, brains, and emotions can experience a range of debilitating symptoms. Their relationships, careers, and hobbies suffer as they try to survive.

One of the most exquisite agonies that victims feel is the damage done to their self-worth and self-love. 

Why Do I Feel So Worthless?

Betrayal trauma victims often ask, “Why do I feel so worthless?” They feel ugly, unwanted, unimportant, and alone. They are embarrassed about things they used to be proud of.. They used to feel attractive and confident. Now they feel exposed and inferior.

Abusive men are responsible for the damage done to women’s senses of self.

How Does Emotional Abuse Damage a Woman’s Self Esteem?

  • Victims may compare themselves to pornographic images
  • Victims may compare themselves to affair partners or other women that their partner has praised or compared them to
  • Victims may blame themselves for their partner’s abusive behaviors and berate themselves for perceived flaws
  • Victims may take to heart the abuser’s verbal abuse, believing that he “means well” or is operating on terms of a mutually loving relationship
  • Victims become accustomed to the abuser’s narcissistic view of the world. They accept (out of survival) their role as a second-class citizen, with the abuser as the center of the universe

Safety Is An Act of Self-Love

A courageous first-step toward self-love is to set and maintain effective boundaries. Boundaries are not statements, requests, or ultimatums. They are actions that women take to separate themselves and their children from abusive behavior. 

As victims separate themselves from abuse, they are able to find safety. Safety is the bottom line, the foundation, for healing and peace. 

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Abuse Victims

At BTR, we know how painful it is to process the trauma of emotional abuse and betrayal trauma. Join the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group and find loving support today from women all over the world. 

Tune in to the free BTR Podcast and hear stories from fellow survivors all over the world as you begin your journey to healing. 


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