What is the Success Rate of Couples Counseling?
Will Couples Counseling Work for Us?
There are 17 different factors that determine will couples counseling work. Take this quiz to receive your free results.
After 4 years of couples therapy, we hadn’t made any progress. I started to wonder, “What is the success rate of couples counseling?” That’s when I found Anne’s podcast. It changed everything.
I finally could see what the couples therapist never showed me. Thank you!
Will Couples Counseling Work?
5 Signs It Might—And 5 Signs It Probably Won’t
Couples counseling can save relationships when the right conditions exist. But if the foundation is cracked by dishonesty or manipulation, therapy can actually make things worse.
So how do you know if couples counseling will work for you—or just prolong the confusion?
Let’s break it down.
✅ 5 Signs Couples Counseling Might Work
1. You’re Both Completely Honest
Therapy cannot work without full honesty. If either partner is lying to the therapist or to each other—even about “small things”—counseling won’t work. In fact, some people lie in therapy as a way to control or manipulate their partner. Not sure if your husband is lying? The Living Free Workshop helps women figure that out without needing couples therapy first. It’s a powerful step if your sessions feel stuck, confusing, or one-sided.2. There’s Still Affection or Respect
Even in conflict, if love, care, or emotional connection remains, therapy has something to build on. But if one partner is pretending to care—faking affection—progress will stall.3. You’re Not Dependent on the Therapist
Healthy couples make progress in couples therapy. If you’re not urgently waiting for the next session to survive the week, that’s a good sign.4. You Have Shared Goals
If both of you are working toward the same outcome—and taking independent steps to get there—that’s progress. Needing constant reminders or monitoring? Not a good sign.5. The Therapist Identifies Emotional or Psychological Abuse
This one’s tricky—because if abuse is present, couples counseling is actually not appropriate. If the therapist recognizes emotional or psychological abuse and immediately stops joint sessions, that’s ethical. If they ignore it—or don’t see the lying and control beneath the surface—they can do more harm than good. Lying is emotional abuse. If no one’s spotting it (including you), couples therapy won’t work—because it’s being used as a cover, not a solution.❌ 5 Signs Couples Counseling Probably Won’t Work
1. One Partner Doesn’t Want to Be There
If one person is just “checking a box” while the other is begging for change, therapy won’t work.
A healthy marriage requires two healthy people.
2. One Partner Is Lying
Lying—even if it’s subtle or strategic—is a form of psychological abuse.
If the lies aren’t visible to you or the therapist, therapy won’t help. It will retraumatize you.
3. There’s Contempt, Mocking, or Rage
If your sessions include yelling, sarcasm, mocking, or shutdowns, that’s a red flag. It likely means there’s abuse—and couples therapy should never happen if lying or emotional or psychological abuse is a factor.
4. The Therapist “Mutualizes” Abuse
If your therapist encourages “shared accountability” for things one person clearly chose, it’s not real accountability—it’s harm.
Ethical therapists do not provide couples therapy when emotional or psychological abuse is present.
But some continue anyway—to avoid losing clients. If they minimize lying and emotional and psychological abuse or claim to be able to “work it out”, couples therapy will make things much worse.
5. You’re Just Repeating the Chaos
If therapy feels like your living room—same arguments—it’s not therapy. It’s just supervised dysfunction.
Sometimes the therapist becomes another tool in the pattern, validating manipulation instead of disrupting it.
Still Wondering: Will Couples Counseling Work for You?
Couples therapy isn’t always the right next step.
But clarity always is.
Take the free 60-second quiz: Should I Try Couples Counseling?
It can help you spot the patterns—and choose the safest, clearest next step.
You deserve to know the truth. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Here's How To Find Out If Couples Counseling will Work For You
Along with your results from the quiz, you’ll receive one insight or strategy for 24 days:
💡 Each one is a proven emotional safety strategy that helps women instantly stop the chaos—even if he refuses to change.
- You’ll finally see what’s actually happening in your marriage.
- You’ll stop blaming yourself.
- You’ll stop needing therapists and pastors to interpret your own pain for you.
- And you’ll finally have the clarity and confidence to protect your peace—without the burden on you.
💔 What If the Problem Wasn’t the Marriage…
One of our clients spent over $12,500 trying to save her marriage in couples counseling, she started to wonder, “What is the success rate of couples counseling?”
Especially when she was told to meet his “needs” and suppress her frustration—so he would feel safe.
Then she started getting my emails.
Two months later, she had more clarity, peace, and confidence than years of therapy and clergy combined.
Why? Because I helped her see the potential problems with couple therapy and how to avoid them.
A Preview: What is The Success Rate of Couples Counseling?
24 Days to Show You: Will Couples Counseling Work?
Here’s a Sample of the Email Course
Day 1: Why therapists are mis-classifying what’s going on.
Day 2: How some therapists drum up more chaos.
Day 7: The most important truth testing strategy.
Day 14: How to spot a “repentance performance”.
Day 20: How to find peace fast on a really bad day.
Anne Blythe, M.Ed
Author, Founder & Executive Director
Anne is the Producer and Host of the The BTR.ORG Podcast and the author of Trauma Mama Husband Drama
After years of attempting to stop her husband from using inappropriate media and help him with his “anger issues”, Anne turned her attention to establishing emotional and psychological safety for herself and her three children.
She wrote The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Workshop as a way to help other women avoid all the traps and pitfalls women experience when they’re betrayed in marriage.
If you need to know right now what you’re dealing with, you’ve come to the right place.
