When Your Trauma is Triggered | BTR.ORG

When Your Trauma Is Triggered

by | Boundaries

You need to know what to do when your betrayal trauma is triggered. Triggers are generally described as reminders associated with your partner’s sexual acting out and emotional abuse, or other relationally abusive behaviors.

Betrayal Trauma Affects a Woman’s Body and Mind

Women’s bodies and minds are effected by betrayal trauma.

Physical symptoms include, but are not limited to:

  • Nausea
  • Fatigue
  • Disorientation
  • Headaches and other physical pains/discomforts
  • Pelvic pain
  • Body temperature fluctuation
  • Loss of appetite or increased appetite

Emotional and mental symptoms may include:

  • Numbness
  • Rage
  • Mood swings
  • Increased crying or an inabilitiy to cry
  • Panic and/or anxiety attacks

Triggers May Be A Warning

In traditional therapy models, triggers are often spoken of in a negative light. At BTR, we believe in a woman’s intuition. When a victim is feeling triggered, she may want to explore that feeling with a supportive and knowledgeable professional. Women are better able to protect themselves and their children when they understand and can respond appropriately to triggers.

It is important that women see triggers as a powerful safety mechanism within themselves. Women’s bodies and brains want safety and will use triggers to remind women to stay away from unsafe situations that remind them of previous traumas.

BTR coaches can help victims navigate through understanding and appreciating triggers, while leaning toward and embracing the healing that comes from safety. Join the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group today and receive support.

How Do I Know If My Betrayal Trauma Has Been Triggered?

Some victims have difficulty identifying what betrayal trauma triggers feel like. Abuse and betrayal can cause women to disconnect from their own feelings and emotions. It’s helpful to understand how triggers feel.

No two victims are the same. However, many victims express that triggers provoke an emotional response. If you feel angry, confused, numb, or unable to focus, you may be experiencing a betrayal trauma trigger.

Some women also experience physical symptoms. They may feel fatigued or hyper. They may experience headaches or muscle pains. Feeling triggered is an aspect of trauma.

Safety, Self-Care, and Support

When women suffer from betrayal trauma and experience associated triggers, there are three basic steps that they can take to begin the journey to healing and empowerment.


BTR believes in Safety First. When women set boundaries, they are able to begin setting the framework for a safe and healthy life.


Abusers condition victims to ignore their own needs. At BTR, we support women in learning to love themselves and learn the tools for appropriate self-care.


No victim should have to walk the road of healing alone. Support is essential to every betrayed and abused woman. Women deserve support and validation.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Offers Safety and Support

At BTR, we understand how much triggers can affect a victim’s life. The free BTR podcast is available to all victims. This resource offers knowledge that helps women become empowered.

The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Support Group offers community, validation, and support to women all over the world. Join today.

Remember, you are not alone.

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  1. Anon

    Oh boy. Trusting the process of recovery and healing is so hard to do at times. So sorry for the pain you are in. I understand.

  2. CR

    Love this. Every word of it. You go, girl.

  3. Cindy

    Well said. I also feel that if I don’t forgive my husband then I am putting myself in a self-imposed jail cell, serving time for a crime I did not commit. Forgiveness is truly a healing part of the recovery process.

  4. Carrie Kube

    Thank you for your pain, honesty and tears. I just read intimate deception this week and sobbed through the entire thing because I thought I was losing my mind for the last year. Now I just realize I was in betrayal trauma. I cannot put into words the peace that I have found in discovering this group and reading that book. Thank you thank you thank you so much for the wonderful work that you’re doing to help Empower women all over the world. You are a true blessing to us all!

    • Anne Blythe

      I’m so glad you find it helpful!

  5. Jean Merritt

    This is me!

  6. Kathy Johnson

    thanks you for for sharing, there are so many people and marriages affected by sex addiction. By speaking out, you’ve already helped others come to grips with the reality that their life is worth the effort to make the necessary changes to remove the grip of addiction, and they too will tap into their strength and get on the path of healing, thriving, and reaching their own personal goals in life. God bless you all.

    • Anne Blythe

      Thank you for your kind words!

  7. Melody

    This is me today… and for weeks. I am having such a hard time letting go of my husband. My mind and body know he is dead in his trespasses, but my heart is aching to have who I thought he was back. Please pray for me.

    • Anne Blythe

      Melody, I will. I totally understand. You are not alone in what you’re feeling! Hugs!!

  8. Dianne

    I feel like I am shattering apart. This is my story. New Years Eve 2019
    The night my world imploded. Celebrating at a restaurant with friends. We were happy together to be seeing the new year & dance & have fun, nothing seemed amiss. My husband who I trusted completely, shared our desires & our dreams the couple who loved & had a beautiful life together for 23 years.
    I observed the intimate embrace he gave his mates wife at first. Then we sat at the round table of ten he sat opposite & very quickly started joking about me this then became berating me so loud others in restaurant turned around, he said later it was a joke. She came up & asked him to dance, wondering why they were so long, I looked over the balcony, it was no dance , it was a lustful sexual encounter in a corner. He even stood with me watching the midnight fireworks, kept very quiet kissed me a peck on the lips, not passionately like we did. Walked back in disappeared, had sex with her,came back & sat down directly opposite me, he asked me to take a photo of them. Then turned & asked her to show him her sexy face!
    he felt guilty 3 days later, only when I asked him, then lied denied& defended, only remembering the dance floor after I told him I had seen. Then, it was a cheap grope with a slag he said,he groped her kissed her cheek & told her she was beautiful. Because he was scared of what she may say to me. To him it was just an aberration, will never happen again & he loved me then & loves me now, does not want to lose me. I have only asked him one question: WHY! His answer after 10 months Of lies of toxic living is I should forgive him. This is not love, this is deceipt, betrayal & total destruction of my love & trust. He does not see that.I feel I need to escape before he breaks me with his control & manipulation. Would you trust this man.???


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