Experiencing abuse, lies, and betrayal can leave you feeling in a fog. It can feel overwhelming.
May be you are thinking: Can I stay? Am I going to take the step toward separation? What about divorce? What is going to happen?
Regardless of what ends up happening, you can takes steps to ensure safety, preparation, and peace in the process as much as possible.
Emotional Abuse Can Escalate During Separation
Wendy Hernandez, creator of Command the Courtroom, says that women in situations of emotional abuse can and should begin to prepare early for various possibilities that can happen along the journey.
“Often times the emotional abuse is in the form of legal abuse, once the divorce has gotten started. It can turn into a scorched earth type of litigation that goes on not only for months, but years. It can be destructive. Whoever is going through this, must do what makes sense for them. It can be a balance.”
-Wendy Hernandez, Command the Courtroom
What is Post-Separation Abuse?
It is important to focus on safety in the midst of the trauma and chaos of litigation. It can be hard to heal when safety is not secured. Post-separation abuse can and does occur, as the abuse just changes forms. Legal draining, constant litigation, and using the kids as pawns as some of the ways post-separation abuse can manifest.
Here are some helpful hints for preparing for Post-Separation Abuse:
- Documentation is KEY!
- Communicate only in writing.
- Keep communication centered on children.
- Consider using an app or program like Our Family Wizard or Custody X Change.
- Be sure to respond appropriately to communication regarding children.
BTR Can Be There For You
The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group is here for you. Join today and find a community of women who understand.
You are not alone, no matter what.
