Betrayal
Trauma
Recovery

When a woman finds out that she’s been betrayed, she’ll often get online and start searching.

Sometimes, she’s not sure what she’s even searching for.

Eventually, she may find it but, often, she may be searching for a long time.

Many women are searching for answers.

They’re searching for the answers to a lot of questions.

“How did this happen?”

“Why didn’t I see it coming?”

“Could I have changed anything?”

“Can I change HIM?”

“What’s wrong with me? I feel crazy.”

Some women, like you, find Betrayal Trauma Recovery and many of them have joined Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.

If you’ve been hesitant to join, or have come up with every excuse in the book, we give you The Top 5 Reasons You Should Join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Today.

Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, asked one of the wonderful BTR coaches if any of the women in her support group would be willing to share their thoughts on how Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group has helped them.

The Top 5 Reasons You Should Join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Today

When Anne started Betrayal Trauma Recovery, she wanted somewhere women could go to find all the education they would need to heal from betrayal trauma.

That dream has grown to include providing a safe place for women to share their own experiences to help them heal from the emotional and psychological abuse they’ve experienced in their relationships.

Many women have found that joining a support group has helped them heal faster than they might have without it.

There are many other benefits to joining any support group, but these are the Top 5 Reasons to Join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.

The Top 5 Reasons You Should Join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Today

  1. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Safe
  2. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Validating
  3. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Healing
  4. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Professionally Facilitated
  5. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Affordable And Convenient

Reason #1- Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Safe

The very first recommendation on the BTR Checklist is to “Open Up to a Safe Person.”

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group is a safe place.

“One of the things that’s important is having safe people and if you have people around you that don’t necessarily understand your experience you don’t always feel safe. BTR creates that safe environment. The women in these groups are safe. You never have to feel judged.”

-BTR Group member

One of the most important rules for joining a session is to make sure you are in a place where you can be alone and won’t be interrupted.

There are several reasons for this. One is that many of the things talked about are very personal. Another reason is that members of the group are more likely to share if they know that what they share is confidential.

“BTR Group has been a lifesaver for me on many occasions. It’s a safe place where I can cry and let it out and share my fears no matter how silly they may seem to others. The coaches and other women in the group understand and get it. It’s a judgment-free zone where I can be me and fully accepted for who I am, for all my faults, failures, and my accomplishments.”

-BTR Group member

When a support group proves to be safe, it leads to Reason #2.

Reason #2- Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Validating

Once someone feels safe in a support group, they are more likely to open up and share.

When people start sharing in a group, others are able to hear their experiences.

Often, a woman may show up to group feeling like she’s crazy, usually because her abuser has told her so.

Another woman will share an experience and, suddenly, the first woman doesn’t feel so crazy anymore.

“I’m not alone! It’s happened to someone else too!”

Validation.

She isn’t crazy. She’s being emotionally and psychologically abused.

Many women find that just hearing what others have to say and having others tell her she’s not crazy, makes the whole time in group worth it.

“I can really see the behaviors now, and much more clearly the dysfunction. Being able to be on every day and get the validation from the coaches and the other women have just been tremendously helpful to me. Life-changing.”

-BTR Group member

That validation can help a woman get her power back and keep herself safe.

“Having the coaches talk not only with us individually but listening to the other ladies helped me to classify and figure out strategies for handling the grooming, gaslighting, and the other things that I didn’t have words for until I got into BTR. It was BTR Group that empowered me to understand that I have a voice.”

-BTR Group member

Having the validation that gives her the power to be safe leads to healing.

Reason #3- Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Healing

Many women have found their voices through attending Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.

Once they found their voice, they were able to move along their path toward healing.

“I’m very grateful for BTR and the coaches and thankful for the daily presence of having somewhere to go where the craziness around us can be processed and we can come to a place of peace.”

-BTR Group member

And that’s where all abused and betrayed women want to get: to a place of healing.

“I credit so much of my healing and the strength that I’ve gained to the coaches and being with the other women in the group. BTR group has helped me to become a better, healthier, stronger, more confident, and empowered person.”

-BTR Group member

Not only are Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group members finding safety, validation and healing from other group members, they’re also receiving strength and encouragement from the BTR coaches who lead the groups.

Reason #4- Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Is Professional Facilitated

Like most support groups, the members have all experienced betrayal trauma and abuse.

Unlike most support groups, however, one of the members in each of the BTR Groups is a little bit different.

Yes, she’s also experienced the betrayal and abuse, but she’s also a professionally-trained and certified betrayal trauma coach.

Each Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group is professionally-facilitated by a certified betrayal trauma coach.

“BTR is not just a support group, it’s coaching with amazing trained coaches who have walked this path and give appropriate advice, encouragement, answer questions and guide you along the path of healing. BTR gave me the terminology to put to how I was feeling. Knowing the right words to describe my feelings helped calm my soul and helped me to not feel so crazy.”

-BTR Group member

Each group session follows a format, led by the BTR coach.

The BTR coach will often provide feedback or ask questions of the group members to help them on their healing journey.

Many women mentioned the individualized attention the coaches give, even in the group setting.

Even the coaches enjoy the group sessions and are grateful for the opportunity to help the group members.

“There have been times where I’ve wondered why we’ve had to go through this, but I tell myself that if it’s to help one other person it’s worth it.”

-Coach Laura, Betrayal Trauma Recovery

The amazing coaches at Betrayal Trauma Recovery have been through the trenches too, so when they’re giving feedback or asking questions, it’s a completely different feeling than sitting in an office with a therapist who doesn’t have a clue what you’re going through.  

Reason #5- Betrayal Trauma Recovery Is Convenient And Affordable

Well, all of that sounds fabulous, doesn’t it?

Maybe it sounds like it’s going to cost a couple thousand dollars?

Surprisingly, but maybe not surprisingly, it’s not going to cost that to join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group membership is only $125 a month, with no contract.

Only $125? A month???

Yep, and that’s not just for one little group session a month.

No, that covers as many sessions as you want or need to attend in a month.

Right now, with over 15 sessions per week on the schedule, there’s bound to be at least one session a week that will work for you!

That’s not the only benefit to a monthly membership.

You’ll also receive 10% off Individual Sessions with your monthly membership.

Hmm… the cost seems affordable, but will you even be able to join a group?

All sessions are online, so you can join from anywhere, as long as you have access to the internet.

Join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group in 4 Easy Steps

  1. Sign up and pay.
  2. Choose a session.
  3. Click the link in your email when the session is starting.
  4. Join the session.

Now that you know the benefits and how easy it is to join, go ahead, join.

Why Choose Betrayal Trauma Recovery?

Yes, there are other betrayal trauma support groups out there.

Yes, there are some great therapists out there.

So why choose BTR?

Coach Laura sums up the reason pretty well.

“I love the ladies at BTR. I’m grateful for the strong women I work with every day who strive to transform their very personal pain into something beautiful. Something that brings healing not only for themselves but for their families, their children, and for me. It truly is a sisterhood. One that, as many BTR women would say, no one ever wanted to be a part of.”

– Coach Laura, Betrayal Trauma Recovery

This particular path isn’t something any of us asked for, but it’s the one we’re on. Why travel it alone?

“If there is any silver lining that comes with betrayal trauma, it’s the relationships that grow among those who understand and walk this road together.”

– Coach Laura, Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group is a safe place to share your experience with other women who have had similar experiences. Trying to explain your experiences to those who haven’t is nearly impossible. Sometimes, they just don’t get it.

Anne’s new book, Trauma Mama Husband Drama, released on June 1st, uses words and pictures to illustrate what it feels like to be emotionally and psychologically abused and betrayed by a husband.

Order your copy of Trauma Mama Husband Drama today by following the link on our Recommended Books page to Amazon. Once you’ve ordered the book, please leave a five-star review to make it easier for other women to find this book.

Full Transcript:

Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.

Summertime is a very hard time for victims of this type of emotional and psychological abuse and sexual coercion. It’s difficult to get in to see a therapist sometimes because you may or may not be traveling or at the family reunion.

This summer is different because a lot of people are staying put and not going anywhere because of the virus situation. I don’t know what this summer is going to be like for you but, regardless, we are here for you. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group has multiple sessions in every single time zone, and when you join you usually can get into a session within a few hours.

On a few podcasts, I accidentally said immediately, and I am so sorry that I misspoke. What I meant when I said that was very, very soon. We have the fastest response times because we built Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group just for women like us because we’ve been through it. We know that when a disclosure happens, or when some weird conversation happens, it’s really important to talk to someone who gets it immediately.

For today’s podcast, we have asked members of Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group to talk about their experience. All of the members who are talking today are from one of Coach Laura’s Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group sessions.

When you join, you can go to any of the coach’s sessions. You can go to all of them so you can get to know all of the coaches. I just ask Coach Laura to see if any of the members of her groups would like to share and she had a few that said yes, so they are going to share their thoughts.

Betrayal Trauma Is Devastating-Support Groups Can Help

Some of them wrote their responses just because they wanted some time to think about it. Some of them were just spontaneous in what they said. At the very end, Coach Laura is going to share some of her thoughts and feelings about coaching Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.

After you listen to this, you’ll probably be interested in joining, so go to btr.org to check out the Daily Group schedule and join today.

Testimony: We’ve tried many different counselors, including CSATs, and been doing that for quite some time but being on BTR for just a few weeks has made all the difference and I can really see the behaviors now, much more clearly the dysfunction. Being able to be on every day and get the validation from the coaches and the other women have just been tremendously helpful to me. Life-changing.

Testimony: I’m very grateful for Betrayal Trauma Recovery. I was able to get clear thinking about what I was witnessing and what was going on. Listening to the podcasts and then having the coaches talk not only with us individually but listening to the other ladies helped me to classify and figure out strategies for handling the grooming, gaslighting, and the other things that I didn’t have words for until I got into BTR. I think the most significant thing was to be able to get outside of myself and be able to apply it in different situations.

One was with my husband’s counselor. Very traditionally, he would like to do marriage counseling, and I learned, from BTR, that there has to be a certain level of health with the addict before that would be successful.

I was able to state that with my husband’s counselor and to say to him that sex before marriage, the sex in marriage, the pornography, all of those things are not marriage problems. They cause marriage problems, but they are his personal problems and until he addresses those, marriage counseling will not be successful, and I don’t want to participate.

It was BTR Group that empowered me to understand, one, that I have a voice, and, two, that was a very logical way to handle the situation and the counselor was very taken aback but he saw what I was saying and took another course with my husband, which actually helped my husband more.

I’m very grateful for BTR and the coaches and thankful for the daily presence of having somewhere to go where the craziness around us can be processed and we can come to a place of peace.

Testimony: BTR is not just a support group, it’s coaching with trained and amazing coaches who have also walked this path and give appropriate advice, encouragement, and help answer questions and guide you along the path of recovery. BTR gave me the words and the terminology to put to how I was feeling.

Knowing the right words to describe my feelings helped calm my soul and helped me to not feel so crazy. There have been several moments over time that I have been in the group when I was full of panic, anxiety, and fear because of the situations at home with my husband, and I was able to get on a group call within a couple of hours to talk through it, get the comfort and validation that I needed, and advice, if it was needed.

BTR Group has been a lifesaver for me on many occasions. It’s a safe place where I can cry and let it out and share my fears no matter how silly they may seem to others. The coaches and other women in the group understand and get it. It’s a judgment-free zone where I can be me and fully accepted for who I am, for all my faults, failures, and my accomplishments.

BTR helped me set and hold appropriate boundaries for my safety, which helped me feel confident and empowered. The coaches and other women in the group give me validation to know that I am not crazy and that others have been through the same thing. I love being in the group and hearing other women’s stories and questions. It helps me to know that I am not alone and that others have been through what I have been through.

Often they have the same questions I have, and sometimes questions that I had that I didn’t know that I had or how to ask. We call it second-hand coaching, and so many times the advice given to other women was just what I needed to hear.

Support Groups Can Help A Victim Heal

I’ve been doing the coaching calls since the beginning and it’s great to build that relationship with the coaches and to have them tell me how much improvement and growth they have seen in me. I have also made some good friends in the group and I keep in touch with outside of the group. I have been greatly blessed with their continued friendship.

BTR Group is the friend I never had and needed so desperately. I felt so alone for so many years. I am truly grateful to have found BTR when I needed them most and to have the coaches with me through this journey of healing.

I can honestly say I don’t know where I’d be without the BTR group. I credit so much of my healing and the strength that I’ve gained to the coaches and being with the other women in the group. BTR group has helped me to become a better, healthier, stronger, more confident, and empowered person.

Coach Laura: I know it’s hard to read through stuff like that without feeling it, so I appreciate it and I know Anne appreciates it.  

Anonymous: When your eyes are filled with tears it’s hard to see what you’re reading.

Coach Laura: Right, I get it.

Testimony: I was introduced to BTR probably nine months ago by a friend because I was going through a divorce. During a really ugly part of the divorce, we were actually left homeless for about 9 months and a family in our church took my 16-year-old daughter and I into their home.

She was going through some issues also and she said, “You’ve got to get on to this group.” I said okay. I was already on another support group and I got on to BTR and was just listening. I was really surprised at the connection with the pornography.

I had actually been going to counseling for years with my marital problems and nobody had ever made that connection before with the pornography. When I brought it up to my counselor at Kaiser, my therapist said, “Oh, that’s interesting, I’ve never made that connection before.”

I just kept listening to podcasts and it was so intriguing. I thought, “You know, I hadn’t even thought about the connection of pornography with coercive control.”

I ended up messaging one of the coaches at BTR and asked them, “What are the chances of these particular things going on within our marriage, (and I listed a few things,) and it not being pornography-related?” The coach messaged me back and said, “I guess it’s possible, but it is highly unlikely that pornography is not involved with this situation.”

I was dealing with a lot of very covert abuse. Nice to everyone else, but very mean and horrible to me and my younger daughter. There was a lot of abuse in different arenas when you go on the wheel. She said that she thought it would be highly unlikely; that hit me really hard. It took me a couple of days to digest that because I hadn’t even considered pornography being a part of the mix or possibly even the cause of it.

I think it gave me more validation because even though I really can’t confront him about that, because we’re on zero communication, it gave me a lot of validation to know that I’m not crazy. No matter how this looks to everyone else, I am suffering horribly and I’m not crazy.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Can Be Empowering

I appreciate all the podcasts and the support, and I’m now involved with the coaching sessions, the groups. It’s been invaluable to me to connect, and I just thank you for it.

Testimony: BTR was recommended to me by my counselor, she recommended that I get into the group. She said that it was important that I get into the group while still seeing her, and so I joined BTR, I believe in April of 2017, so I’ve been a member now for three years, and I’ve also had individual appointments with several different coaches.

The great thing about BTR groups and how they’ve helped me, is they have all different coaches who bring with them all different areas of expertise. For example, Coach Laura brings with her the values expertise and that has been very helpful for me to identify what I value because then that helps me to determine certain boundaries that I need to put into place to keep at the forefront of what I value. I understand that values can change, so she’s really helped me with that, and she’s also helped me with relationship recovery agreements and many, many other things.

I’m going to go back to the BTR groups again. Over the years since I’ve gotten on and again several sessions each day, but I’ve gotten on and sometimes if it’s a big group we’ve had as much as 8-10 minutes, which is more than sufficient, but I’ve also gotten on where we’ve had 20-30 minutes.

Whether it’s 10 minutes, 20, or 30 minutes, in those sessions you can just do whatever you’re comfortable with, but I have found that it’s so valuable with that what we call spot-coaching. I say, “Hey, I need spot-coaching.” I’m getting spot coaching that one membership fee covers all of that.

I have found that when I get on these groups, I’m getting all of this coaching and support from all these different areas of expertise in addition to the coaches and getting on with other women and sharing my experiences. For me, it has helped me to know that I’m not alone because it is so easy to feel so alone in all of this.

One of the things that’s important is having safe people and if you have people around you that don’t necessarily understand your experience you don’t always feel safe. BTR creates that safe environment.

The women in these groups are safe. You never have to feel judged. You’re not going to have people telling you how you should think or what you should do. It’s completely safe. While each women’s experience is unique, we all share commonalities, and having that support got me through without a doubt the most traumatic relational experience in my life.

Frankly, if I didn’t have BTR, I don’t know, first of all, if I would have healed. I don’t know what I would have done without BTR. I’ve been with Coach Joi. I’ve been on with Coach Joanne.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Offers Connection

BTR also offers some special groups. Another coach had a group for Rescued, that I was a part of. For me, being a woman of the Christian faith, when I asked for it because you do not have to be of a particular faith or you may be of another faith, anyone can come to BTR, Coach Laura has been such a blessing because I would be in certain moments, struggling and I would ask her—I would request it, and God worked through her and she said just the right thing at the right time when I was feeling broken. She would tell me scripture and I would go print off that scripture and keep it above my desk.

I am especially grateful to have Coach Laura to provide that spiritual perspective. You really mean a lot to me Coach Laura and I just so appreciate you.

Testimony: I truly believe that BTR saved my life. I’ve made lifetime friends; the only ones that understand my feelings, that have gone through the same things. Each coach has their own special traits and seeing the different views on the same subject or the same things in different ways or different suggestions really helps make you feel safe. I do appreciate you, Laura. You have changed my life. It was awful.

Coach Laura: Aw, thank you. Well, I’m very glad that I could. There have been times where I’ve wondered why, as you all have, that we’ve had to go through this, but I tell myself that if it’s to help one other person it’s worth it. I mean I might ask God one day why this particular thing to help one other person. But I get it, somebody has to help us through it.

It was hard for me. I didn’t have anybody, so I appreciate you guys. It builds me up to hear that, because sometimes I have my days where I wonder, “Am I doing enough? Am I ever hurting?” Heaven knows, when I first started coaching, I made some mistakes and probably hurt a couple of people, but I thought I had to learn, and I just prayed that God healed them.

Anonymous: I know the times you’ve sent me a private email afterward, and I believe Joi has too. Joi called me one time, and that was wonderful.

Coach Laura: Yeah. Don’t we wish our husbands would do that?

Anonymous: Well, we wouldn’t be here if they did that.

Coach Laura: That’s true, and I’d be out of a job. I’m just kidding. I love the ladies at BTR. I’m grateful for the strong women I work with every day who strive to transform their very personal pain into something beautiful. Something that brings healing not only for themselves but for their families, their children, and for me. It truly is a sisterhood. One that, as many BTR women would say, no one ever wanted to be a part of.

I am eternally grateful for each and every one of them. They tell me every day the difference BTR has made in their lives, and they have made a difference in mine as well.

If there is any silver lining that comes with betrayal trauma, it’s the relationships that grow among those who understand and walk this road together. Thank you, every one of you, for blessing me as I walk my own road to healing after betrayal.

Anne: I’d like to thank Coach Laura and the members of Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group for sharing their thoughts today.

Again, when you join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, you can check out our session schedule and see that generally speaking, we have a session starting within a few hours. To look at the session schedule, go to btr.org.

We really appreciate those of you who support this podcast, so please go to our website btr.org, scroll down to the bottom and click on the button that says, “Support the Podcast.” Also, a great big thank you to those of you who have rated this podcast on iTunes or other podcasting apps. Every single rating helps women who are isolated find us.

Just a final shout out to those of you who have purchased my new book Trauma Mama Husband Drama. Thank you, thank you, thank you. If you haven’t yet, please go to Amazon and give it a five-star rating. That improves our chances of being found in the Amazon algorithm.

You know what it was like to find information that wasn’t helpful like improve communication or don’t shame him or whatever it was that you found at first that did not help. If you could please go to Amazon to do that review that would really help that algorithm so women find the correct information right off the bat. It will save them from years of pain and chaos.

You can find that book by going to btr.org/books and click on Trauma Mama Husband Drama and it will take you directly to Amazon where you can purchase the book from there.

Until next week, stay safe out there.

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