Spiritual abuse causes victims to doubt their reality in their relationship with God, or higher power. This type of abuse can come from partners, clergy, and entire faith communities. Spiritual abuse is a widespread issue of domestic abuse.
Have You Experienced Spiritual Abuse?
Spiritual abuse is a subtle yet damaging form of harm that can affect individuals within faith communities. Many victims may not even realize they are experiencing spiritual abuse, making it essential to understand its various forms. Let’s explore some common signs of spiritual abuse and how to address it.
What is Spiritual Abuse?
Spiritual abuse occurs when an individual or group uses religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, control, or harm others. This can happen in various ways, often resulting in emotional and psychological trauma for the victim.
Common Forms of Spiritual Abuse
- Shunning and Isolation: Faith communities may ostracize a victim and her children, leading to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. This isolation can deeply impact an individual’s mental well-being.
- Shaming and Humiliation: Clergy or spiritual leaders might shame, blame, or humiliate a victim, often under the guise of providing guidance. This harmful advice can further entrench feelings of inadequacy.
- Breach of Privacy: Members of faith communities, including clergy, may share a victim’s private information without consent. This violation can lead to a significant loss of trust and safety.
- Misuse of Scripture: Abusive partners, clergy, and community members may twist scripture and religious teachings to exert control over victims. This manipulation can create confusion and doubt about one’s beliefs.
- Forced Confession: Some individuals may be compelled to confess as a means of control and humiliation. This practice can strip away personal agency and reinforce feelings of guilt.
- Gender Blame: In some situations, clergy might unfairly blame women for sexual misconduct, failing to hold male perpetrators accountable. This bias can perpetuate a culture of silence and shame.
Taking Action To Protect Yourself
If you or someone you know is experiencing spiritual abuse, it’s essential to seek help. Here are some steps to consider:
- Reach Out for Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals who can offer guidance and support. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Individual Sessions are a great place for support.
- Educate Yourself: Understanding the dynamics of spiritual abuse can empower you to recognize signs and take informed steps. Listen to The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to learn more about this kind of abuse.
- Seek Safe Spaces: Look for supportive communities or groups that promote healing and understanding. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group can be your safe space.
If You Need Support, We’re Here For You
At BTR, we understand the pain of spiritual abuse. The trauma is severe. You need support.
BTR.ORG Group Sessions are available for you every single day in every single time zone, you can find the support that you need when you need it. We’d love to see you in a session today. To learn about how to create boundaries to keep yourself safe check out The Living Free Workshop.
Interesting that u are seeing problems in understanding DV and abuse even from workers in the DV field. I was talking to a friend who works in that industry, last night and she was saying, “A lot of the women go back. They are really messed up. You know they have Stockholm Syndrome.” I asked hat that was because it was said in a way that sounded as if she was talking down towards them. And she answered, “It is when the woman gets so attached to the man because she’s wanting love from him even though he’s an abuser.” And she concluded, “She’s co-dependent. That’s why they don’t stay at the shelter.” She then went on to tell me how horrific some of the conditions are at some of our shelters locally (nothing like The Maid).
I paused and said, actually, she’s not co-dependent for asking for and wanting love from an man who has promised her love and who used to show her excessive love and devotion. She waiting for him to become that again, she’s not co-dependent. And I said, “And women don’t stay with abusers because they are latched into the abuser. They don’t leave because they have nowhere to go and no way to support themselves and their children on what they can earn. So if leaving means they are then living at a poverty level, most of them will just stay, as a way to provide for their children.
I was shocked to find that she had been taught that the women went back because THEY are the sick ones. I was really mad at her center for teaching her that.
But that’s how it is. A patriarchal society, where the “Bro Code” is strictly enforced by men and the “sister code” is literally non-existent, keeps women trapped in bad situations.
Men who lead families, churches and businesses do not want to admit that one of their secret club members has caused so much devastating pain to a woman, that she has stopped going to church, or is unable to work or care for her children like she was, or is paralyzed in life, or suddenly sick with autoimmune disease.
I totally agree. This sort of victim blaming nonsense is rampant in the DV field and it drives me crazy. They don’t seem to realize that the women are literally entrapped, and they want to get out, but due to the fog of abuse and society and financial factors, sometimes no matter how hard they try, they can’t be totally free of abuse. Family courts require victims to interact with their abusers if they share children, for example. It’s horrific. Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for this true experience. My experiences are very similar being married to a porn user who was lusting watching women our whole marriage. How can I get a copy? Where is part 2?
Here is Part 2: https://www.btr.org/trauma-victims-deserve-love/
And Part 3: https://www.btr.org/how-does-infidelity/