Marriage is often described as a partnership, yet sometimes, something shifts. You may find yourself wondering, Why am I no longer attracted to husband?

While some might suggest that the spark has just faded, the reasons could be deeper. If your husband has been using pornography or engaging in manipulative behavior, it can profoundly impact your feelings toward him, and it’s important to know that you’re not at fault.

Here are six reasons that could explain why you’re no longer attracted to your husband due to his harmful behavior toward you.

1. Attraction Is More Than Just Looks

Attraction goes far beyond physical appearance. It’s built on trust, respect, and emotional safety.

If your husband’s behavior has disrupted any of these foundations, your sense of attraction will waver. It’s healthy for women to be repelled by a man who isn’t trustworthy, doesn’t respect her, and doesn’t make her emotional safety a priority.

Take this free emotional abuse quiz to find out if your husband is emotionally abusive.

2. No Longer Attracted to a Husband Who Uses Pornography

Pornography use erodes intimacy and trust. For many women, discovering their husband’s secret use of pornography leaves is often the first step to women realizing the type of character their husband truly has.

It’s shocking to discover your husband isn’t who you thought. It’s not just about the act of viewing pornography—it’s the deception, objectification, and emotional distance – which is actually emotional and psychological abuse and sexual coercion.

For support, attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions TODAY.

3. Women Aren’t Attracted to Men Who Lie

Lying—whether about finances, actions, or online habits—destroys trust. Lies and gaslighting is psychological abuse. It’s impossible to feel attracted to your husband if he’s undermining you.

Listen to The Free Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to learn more about this type of abuse.

4. No Longer Attracted Because He Expects You To Manage Everything

If you’re carrying the mental load of the relationship all by yourself, it’s exhausting. Exhausted women, in general, don’t want sex – they want solutions.

Your husband’s neglect for the day to day mental load of the relationship puts more pressure on you and is a really good reason you wouldn’t be attracted to him.

To find out what to do about husband who isn’t engaging, enroll in The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Living Free Workshop.

5. No Longer Attracted Because He Doesn’t Help Around the House

If you’re left to tackle household responsibilities, errands, and parenting duties alone while your husband disengages, why would you be attracted to him?

6. No Longer Attracted Because He Exploits You

Exploitation in a marriage—whether it’s emotional, financial, or sexual—is abusive.

If you’ve realized that your husband exploits you in any way, know that you’re just as important as he is. You’re worthy of respect, safety, and love, and his actions are not a reflection of your value.

At BTR.ORG, we specialize in helping women recover from betrayal and emotional abuse. If you’ve experienced any of the above, you need support.

Attend a Group Session or listen to our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to connect with women who understand and can guide you toward healing. You don’t have to face this alone.