Is BTRG Right For Me? | BTR.ORG

Is BTRG Right For Me?

by | Abuse Literacy, BTR Group Sessions


At BTR, we know that victims of betrayal and abuse need support.

The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group (BTRG) was designed with victims in mind. If you have asked yourself, “Is BTRG right for me?” You’ve come to the right place: read on and listen to the free BTR podcast to learn more about the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group and how it can help you in your healing journey.

BTRG Meets Every Day, In Every Time Zone

At BTR, we know how important it is for you to get support right away.

That’s why BTRG meets every single day in every single time zone – so that victims can get support when they need it.

BTRG was designed so that women don’t need to leave their homes, pay for child care, or rearrange their work schedule to accommodate lengthy appointments or round-trip drive times. You can join a session from your bedroom, garage, or closet – whatever works best for your situation.

Check out the session schedule and begin getting the support that you need right away.

BTRG Validates Victims’ Experiences

BTRG is run by trauma and abuse-trained coaches who validate victims’ experiences and help women give language to their experiences.

“When I first discovered BTR on the podcast I felt all of a sudden validated. I felt not alone. I have felt completely empowered. I have felt validated. I’ve felt heard, I’ve felt seen, I have felt seen when I couldn’t see myself. It’s the very best thing that’s happened to me.”

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Community Member

BTRG Is a Safe Space For You To Process Trauma

Victims of abuse and betrayal deserve a comfortable and compassionate space to work through the difficult emotions and memories that accompany trauma.

“By attending the group sessions, I feel affirmed, I feel clarity, I feel appropriate sadness. I’m very grateful for finding BTR, but I also really appreciate the professionalism of the group sessions. There are safeguards in place, so I feel like it’s a safe place to come. Our coaches love us, and they’re so well trained.”

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Community Member

BTRG has careful rules in place to make sure that victims feel protected and safe as they participate in group meetings.

BTR Is Here For You

At BTR, we know how important it is for victims to voice their experiences, find comfort in community, and find strength in expert counsel and guidance.

BTRG provides the support that victims need on their journey to healing. Join today.

Full Transcript:

Anne: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.

Our daily online support group has more sessions than any other support group out there. We have over 21 sessions per week for you to choose from. You don’t have to wait for an appointment, you don’t have to leave your home, you can join from your closet or your parked car in your garage. Check out the session schedule; we’d love to see you in a session today.

For everyone who has given this podcast a five-star rating and perhaps even a review on Apple podcasts or other podcasting apps, thank you so much. If this podcast has helped you, when you rate it, you help other women find it. So, your ratings make a big difference.

Rate the BTR Podcast

Here’s a five-star review we received on Apple podcasts: Great resource and a blessing. I was blessed to find BTR’s podcast very soon after my husband’s first disclosure of porn use five years ago this month. For most of that time, I had almost no one to talk to or confide in, and some people who were trying to help me only made it worse. I often used to fall asleep listening to the podcast. Listening to Anne I knew I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t being crazy. I would calm down as soon as I heard her voice. God used BTR to keep me strong, even as things got worse and he continued to use porn, solicit compromising pictures from women online, and start a three-year-long affair with a 19-year-old, all while gaslighting me and lying about me to his family, friends, and people from whom I tried to get help. Anne, you are doing wonderful things. Without you and your podcast, I would have been much more vulnerable to abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Thank you.

Why Should I Join BTRG?

On this week’s episode, we have compiled a bunch of women sharing their feelings about Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group. So, all of these women, are either currently or have been members of Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, and they’re sharing their experiences.

Testimony 1: When I first discovered BTR on the podcast I felt all of a sudden validated. I felt not alone. It took me a while, seven months actually, to join the BTR Group. Honestly, because I was afraid that I would, you know, just become an angry bitter woman who hated men. And I found that to be the absolute opposite of what has happened. I have felt completely empowered. I have felt validated. I’ve felt heard, I’ve felt seen, I have felt seen when I couldn’t see myself. Yeah, so it’s the very best thing that’s happened to me.

“BTRG Has Completely Changed My Life”

Testimony 2:  BTR has been a group that has completely changed my life. It was something I didn’t even know it was out, didn’t even know that I needed, but it’s been a godsend. It is life-changing. The coaches are just your sisters, and they walk with you, they help you all along the way. It’s also been good just to be able to watch the other ladies in here to notice you have a group of people that completely understand where you are, what you’re going through, and even to see the progress. You get inspired by their walk, and to see the growth that they’ve done. Now having the knowledge that we need to move forward to heal, whether we decide to stay or go. BTR just really helps to heal us one step at a time and from the inside out. I’m so appreciative of this group.

“I Felt Like There Was A Severed Artery”

Testimony 3: I probably listened to the podcast for about four years before things just accelerated to the point that I had to take action. The coaching, combined with the podcast, were the two things that saved my life. I had been to three therapists who told me it was all my fault and I needed to go do my family of origin work and stop trying to control my husband who was just continuing to stomp all over everything that was sacred that I was trying to build with him. I felt like there was a severed artery. He and the therapist and I were sitting there, just spewing blood all over everybody and nobody’s saying a word, and it felt just like gaslighting to me.

I think therapy was very abusive because I was definitely abused by three different therapists in that codependent model, who were telling me those things. It’s infuriating that women are made to feel this way when they’re trying to get help. That’s all we did for the last two to three years we were together was S groups and CSATs, and it just got worse. I couldn’t get anybody to help me understand boundaries. Everybody was like, read this book when I was like, um, I need help. I need somebody to help me with boundaries. I don’t need a book. I was a failure in therapy three times, and I was considered a failure in recovery as well.

BTRG Helps Victims Create Safety

I was able to do individual sessions to really work on things that I was having a really hard time letting go of in my own behaviors. BTR really just was pivotal in my healing. I tell people in group all the time like I’m months out of the divorce and I’m still shedding layers of grief and things are coming up for me. We have this mentality too that like we’re going to go to therapy, and everything is going to get fixed, and then we’re never going to have a feeling to process ever again. And that’s just kind of ridiculous because as long as we are alive, we’re going to be having feelings and we’re going to have things that need to be processed. But we have to feel safe, and we have to feel heard, and we have to feel valued, and I did not feel any of that until I found BTR. So, things can turn around when you have an abuse model and the truth with you. My heart sheds a tear for every new woman that comes into group. When they arrive, but my heart jumps up and down, because she’s here. That’s a beautiful gift. It was a beautiful gift for me, you know, to get up the guts after listening to the podcast for four years. I’m so filled with gratitude.

BTRG Empowers Victims

Testimony 4:  I feel because of this group I’m going to get my life back. This is a place that actually helps them and empowers them, and I feel a lot more empowered because of this group. I’ve been gaslit my whole life growing up, and up until BTR, I didn’t know what the truth was. With the coaches and all the women being vulnerable and speaking their truth I could finally find a place where I could identify with what was going on. For my body to hear what was going on. My whole life, you know, I’ve been told what I’m feeling, what my intentions are, and you know I’ve been searching my whole life to try to figure out what was going on. There was always that part of me that told me that there’s something deeper going on. This group has changed my life, I finally had a chance to hear the truth and be safe. This group gave me safety to let go of the denial and give me the chance to decide for myself what I want.

What Are BTRG Meetings Like?

Testimony 5:  I’ve now been on BTR meetings. I discovered BTR through Google. I googled betrayal trauma support, and this was after how many years of being in the codependent model therapy groups out there. I don’t want to name them, but they basically have been following the alcohol anonymous group models, recommended by my husband’s CSAT. But to finally find an online group, and it’s really the only one, where you actually have well-trained and the most educated coaches who actually facilitate the group. Because I’ve had to stop attending another group because they allowed cursing and the rules were not really well thought out. So, to have a place that has rules, that has structure, that has guidance, and then you have the safety protocols and then anonymity is the best investment that you can make, especially for betrayal trauma. I’ve done years of research and just going through different rabbit holes, even suffering trauma from a very invasive, local, so-called betrayal trauma CSAT.

I’d listen to the podcast, and I said I’ve got to join the group. I’ve got to join the group. I’ve done all the other groups, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right. To hear yourself in the stories of others. The coaches have been through trauma themselves. That to me was just such a huge bonus, to actually speak to women who’ve been through what you’ve gone through, and they’ve survived and they’re thriving, and now they are helping all of us. To have all of that in one package. I’ve tried, I’ve seen so many memberships. I’ve been to so many meetings, so I know it’s not out there except on BTR.

“In Trauma, You’re Always Going To Feel Like You’re Not Ready”

It’s not about being ready, because in trauma you’re always going to feel like you’re not ready. So, it’s almost like you’ve just got to take that medication that you need right now even though you don’t feel like taking it, and it’s the medication that you need, like, as we speak. It’s the most healing. No one’s here to judge you. No one has you under a microscope. You know, everybody’s very much in your shoes, walking the same journey. You will find yourself finally healing, and it is one day at a time, one session at a time, one coach at a time. It’s the best gift.

I’m seven years since discovery, so it’s not too late if you’ve just discovered your husband’s infidelities, whatever it is that you’ve just discovered. And if you’re 10 years after discovery, and even if you’re divorced or separated or even widowed, but you’re still suffering from the trauma, and you still want to heal and you want to connect heart to heart and mind to mind with other women and connecting with the coaches. That’s my lifeline to sanity and serenity at the same time. I am a mother of eight children, that my children need me. I need them to know that they can conquer this, and they can move on and build beautiful successful lives because we are worth it.

Trauma Mama Husband Drama

Anne: I’m going to take a break here for just a second to talk about my book Trauma Mama Husband Drama. You can find it on our books page which has a curated list of all of the books that we recommend. My book Trauma Mama Husband Drama is a picture book for adults. So, it is the easiest way for you to explain what’s going on to someone who might not understand it, it’s also just a good reference for yourself because it shows what’s happening with very telling and emotional illustrations, as well as infographics at the back. When you go to our books page and click on any of those books, it just takes you directly to Amazon and you can throw those books in your cart.

Here’s a five-star review we received on Amazon. She said exactly what I didn’t know I needed. This book is very informative and extremely easy to read. I’m so grateful I found it. The most helpful was the simple definitions in the back that gave me a voice and made me feel supported when using the terminology.

Now we’ll continue listening to members of Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group as they share their experiences.

BTR Helps Women Identify Abuse

Testimony 6: Betrayal Trauma Recovery has helped me put the appropriate names to what I was experiencing and that would be ABUSE. It took me a long time to label him as an abusive individual, and that what I have been experiencing was indeed abuse. There is a space that is fed into by the women who participate in this group, and the coaches, and all of the transfers to (being) very beneficial to victims and survivors. It helps you feel like you’re not the crazy one. A lot of us come from like traumatic backgrounds, and so it’s nice to know that like I’m not the only one. And there’s some inclusivity with all of that being said, and I just really appreciate the (view that) pornography is abuse, period. Because it’s so easily pushed to the side as a non-issue, and it’s affecting so many really pure noble women. It helps me feel empowered to take the next step in my journey, whatever that step might be. I just want people to know that they’re not alone, that they can listen to their intuition, and that that’s not them going crazy, and by coming to BTR and sharing that in a vulnerable way, in a safe way, you feel more empowered after you leave the session every time.

BTRG Gives Victims The Words to Express Their Experiences

Testimony 7: BTR Group and podcasts and books have been amazing for me. Being able to go to people that understand, and not be told some of the things I’ve heard through years of therapy with my husband, after 10 years in and finding out what I had no idea. And I’ve been told a lot of different things, like what are you doing or repeatedly how can I support him more, and even why are you crying, this has nothing to do with you. Family minimizing or believing that, even money issues or different things.

When we spent one year with one therapist trying to explain and teach her and give her books (that) I’ve gotten from BTR. You know, I was saying, please can you read Lundy Bancroft, and that particular therapist did get it at the end of the year, but we’ve been through many years. And actually, at another therapist, he’s like, how can I support him more and how can I keep him from getting the access. For me, it’s to be able every day to get on if I need to. Not being blamed for something that is out of your control that a grown adult person is doing and doing to you.

To have the podcast, things like the manufactured relational tether that in length explains instead of trauma bonding. Things like meat loafing that someone was talking about, that really makes things make sense for me. I’m really thankful. Thankful is an understatement. I am just, God bless, and may this expand to churches, and governments, and countries. Thank you so much.

BTRG Validates Victims of Abuse & Betrayal

Testimony 8: I remember the day that I first found BTR. I was sitting on my bed porch, listening that day, desperately seeking some kind of help for my soul. I listened to Anne calling betrayal what it really is and acknowledging the pain and trauma that it really causes to us women. That podcast changed my life. As I listened, I burst into tears of healing validation. Finally, someone was calling pornography use for the betrayal and harm that it actually is. Someone was saying how abusive it is. Finally, someone had put together all the pieces of the puzzle, and so many things finally began to make sense.

It was my first moment of validation and clarity. Anne sent me on my path of strength and healing right that moment, because she was brave enough to share her own strength and healing. BTR group is the most healing place that a woman can possibly be after experiencing betrayal of any sort. It’s a safe, sacred, and healing space. The abuse-informed and trained coaches are amazing, loving, and wise, and they all remind us that there is healing to be found as you navigate through this experience of betrayal trauma. I just want to give a big forever thank you to Anne, the Betrayal Trauma coaches, and to BTR.

“BTR Saved My Life”

Testimony 9: I am very grateful to BTR, they saved my life. I did not have knowledge of what was going on in my life and how I was being abused to the extent I was. BTR has given me courage, and the coaches have helped me to continually move forward and to strengthen me, and to guide me. The encouragement has been incredible, and I am just beyond blessed, and I couldn’t have done this without BTR and the coaches and the women on BTR. They have been a godsend. I have made great friendships through this. BTR has just strengthened that I’m not alone, and without having family and being around toxic family members and not having anything to do with them. I didn’t feel alone hopping on the meetings.

I highly recommend BTR. It is lifesaving. Thank you, Anne, for your podcast. I’m beyond blessed.

“I Feel Affirmed, I Feel Clarity”

Testimony 10: I discovered BTR just within the last month, and I am more than 10 years post-divorce. I’m not hearing words that my soul has longed to hear for many decades as I walked this journey, just without the resources that I needed. So, I’ve experienced more healing that I just needed at this point in my life. The podcasts give me vocabulary and tools and affirmation. By attending the group sessions, I feel affirmed, I feel clarity, I feel appropriate sadness. So, I’m very grateful for finding BTR, but I also really appreciate the professionalism of the group sessions. There are safeguards in place, so I feel like it’s a safe place to come. Our coaches love us, and they’re so well trained. So, I’m very very grateful for BTR.

BTR Is Here For You

Testimony 11: I’m very thankful for BTR. I feel that God led me to the website, and I watched my first video on pornography and how it affects your relationship. I am a firm believer that pornography is infidelity. I don’t know if I was a firm believer in that before. I think in the back of my mind, I really was. However, BTR through all the videos, and joining the group sessions has been so instrumental in my life. I’ve been a member since about the last four months. I know I can get on every day and feel immediate love and support and validation from the coaches and the ladies on the meeting. I just can’t thank the coaches and Anne and BTR enough for helping me through this journey. I feel very positive about my life, my future because I know I’ll always have BTR, and I know they’re going to help me get through it.

Anne: If this podcast is helpful to you, please support it. Until next week, stay safe out there.

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