In an ideal world, marriage is a safe haven where trust and love flourish. But for many women, hidden abuse, characterized by lies and manipulation, causes trauma that’s hard to recognize and even harder to heal from. This article explores the barriers that make healing trauma from hidden abuse challenging.
Getting Help From the Wrong People Makes Healing Trauma From Hidden Abuse Harder
One of the biggest obstacles in healing from hidden abuse is seeking help from people who don’t understand the depth of emotional and psychological manipulation. Traditional therapists, clergy, and even well-meaning friends and family may not recognize hidden abuse for what it is. This can lead to misguided advice that pushes women back into harmful situations.
Why It’s a Barrier:
- Lack of Understanding: Many professionals don’t recognize lies, pornography use, and infidelity as forms of emotional and psychological abuse.
- Misguided Strategies: Conventional advice often focuses on reconciliation rather than safety and emotional well-being.
Solution:
Seek support from specialized organizations like Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR.ORG), which provides resources and support specifically tailored for women facing hidden abuse. BTR Coaches understand the unique challenges and offer strategies that prioritize your emotional safety.
Not Having a Safe Support Network That Understands The Trauma From Hidden Abuse
A safe support network is essential for healing, but finding one that truly understands the trauma from hidden abuse is daunting. Without a safe network, women may feel isolated and invalidated, which hinders the healing process.
Why It’s a Barrier:
- Isolation: Feeling misunderstood can lead to social withdrawal, making it harder to reach out for help.
- Validation: Without a support network that acknowledges the abuse, women may question their experiences and feelings.
Solution:
Attend a daily group session at Betrayal Trauma Recovery to talk to women who totally understand, because they’ve been through it. BTR offers group sessions that connect you with other women who’ve faced similar challenges, providing a safe space for sharing and healing.
Thinking It’s Our Fault Keeps Us From Healing From Hidden Abuse
Victims of hidden abuse often internalize the blame, thinking that her husband’s lies, manipulation, and betrayal are her fault. This self-blame can be a significant barrier to healing.
Why It’s a Barrier:
- Guilt and Shame: Blaming oneself may keep you from reaching out for help from the right support network.
- Trying To Fix Yourself: Since it’s not your fault, trying to fix yourself won’t necessarily lead you to emotional safety.
Solution:
Educate yourself about the dynamics of hidden abuse. Understanding that the abuser’s actions are not your fault is a critical step toward healing. Listen to The Free Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to learn more about the cause of the hidden abuse.
His Lies & Manipulation Will Always Be A Barrier To Healing From Hidden Abuse
The constant barrage of lies and manipulation from the abuser can make it incredibly difficult for women to see the reality of their situation. Gaslighting, a common tactic, can distort a woman’s perception of reality, making her doubt her judgment and experiences.
Why It’s a Barrier:
- Confusion: Manipulation tactics like gaslighting create confusion and self-doubt.
- Entrapment: Continued manipulation can trap the victim.
Solution:
Document your experiences and keep a journal of incidents. This can provide clarity and serve as a reality check when you doubt yourself. Sharing these experiences with a BTR Coach can also help validate your feelings and experiences.
Societal and Religious Scripts That Ignore Abuse and Push Women to Reconcile
Societal and religious pressures often encourage women to maintain their marriages at all costs, even when faced with hidden abuse. These scripts can make women feel like they have some part to play or that they can improve the situation.
Why It’s a Barrier:
- Pressure to Reconcile: Cultural and religious norms may prioritize the preservation of marriage over individual well-being.
- Stigma: Fear of judgment and stigma of “giving up” or not being a good wife can prevent women from making her way to emotional safety.
Solution:
Challenge these scripts by prioritizing your safety and well-being over societal expectations. Engage with communities and organizations that support women’s rights and offer a balanced perspective on marriage and individual health.
Healing Trauma From Hidden Abuse IS Possible
Healing trauma from hidden abuse is a complex and daunting process, but understanding the barriers can empower you to take the right steps toward recovery. From seeking help from the right people to challenging societal scripts, every step you take is a move toward reclaiming your life and well-being.
If you’re struggling to heal from hidden abuse, consider joining a support group or speaking with a specialized coach. At Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR), we offer personalized support and resources to help you on your healing journey. Book a call with one of our expert coaches today and take the first step toward a brighter, healthier future.
“A pornography addict exhibits abusive behaviors, such as lying, gaslighting, manipulation and sexual coercion.“ Anne, I feel that this is backwards. I would say that an domestic abuser exhibits sexually perverse behaviors, such as pornography use (then labels himself an addict so that he can be the victim).
Fantastic podcast, thank you!!
Yes!!! I will try and say it like that from now on! Thank you! You’re spot on. A domestic abuser harms his wife with lying, manipulation, porn use, etc.