Coach Cat, CPLC, APSATS-C
I am immensely proud to be able to say that I am the ONLY APSATS trained coach in the whole of the UK! With so few resources here to support women facing the heartbreak of betrayal trauma, I have felt compelled to do what I can to change that. As such I have become educated on the effects of betrayal trauma, adding to my hard won personal experience and begun a one woman quest to raise awareness of this issue. This quest has seen me blogging, writing for magazines and websites and telling my story (OUR story!) to ANYONE who will listen. I am a passionate advocate for partners in the UK and worldwide and have worked with women from the UK and all over the world.
What Can Someone Expect From Scheduling A Coaching Session With Me?
You can expect to feel safe, supported, validated and HEARD when working with me. I will not label you, blame you or shove you in a box. I will seek to provide a safe space in which to discover who you are and respond to your unique and individual needs and most importantly I will honor who you are, where you have been and where you want to go. My aim in sessions is to tap into the resources you already have and to build on them to create sustainable momentum towards your goals. I trust your desire to heal and will encourage you to do the same.
My Personal Story
It started with a video, found in the internet history whilst on holiday. I’d been here before and I knew that sinking feeling. It couldn’t be true this time, could it?! The last time I had been here, it had resulted in so much heartbreak. Heartbreak from which, I know now, I had never really healed. Sadly, I was here again, this time with the man I had married just a couple of years previous. A man who knew what I had been through in the previous relationship. A man who swore that any issues he had previously had were done and dusted and assured me that I had nothing to worry about. A man who lied, whose sexual behaviors’ were secretive and deceitful. I was shattered, my world turned upside down and all hope for the future was gone in an instant. I didn’t believe that this could happen AGAIN! Not again, not now, not HIM!
What followed was a long few months of partial truths and dribbled disclosures. I can remember telling my husband that I felt like I was bleeding to death from paper cuts! I started reading and researching online and quickly realized that what I was dealing with sex addiction and the accompanying Betrayal Trauma. It was such a confusing time for me and I could find neither the specialist professional help that I knew we (both) needed, nor a peer group of safe people for support. Given that my husband was in training for church ministry, this was a delicate situation to say the least! We have fumbled our way through recovery using all of the resources we have been able to locate in the UK and have reached a place of stability and sanity after much groping in the dark for an answer.
My husband and I met through recovery circles initially as he was recovering from alcoholism and I from heroin addiction. I have nearly a decade of my own personal recovery experience behind me, giving me a unique view of addiction from both sides of the fence. I have a much insight into addiction and have worked with many other addicts to achieve sobriety though the 12 step model and other modalities. I have worked professionally with addicts and alcoholics in residential rehabilitation units also.
As I learned more about this issue and began to heal from my own trauma, I became compelled to make this journey less lonely for the women I knew were to follow me in the future. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving these women, who had so many stories of exacerbated trauma through bad advice and unethical treatment by professionals, to fumble through this experience as I had.
Inspired by the coaches I met through online communities it became clear that all of my previous experience as a corporate coach and trainer made me an ideal candidate for life coaching. I immediately took up training with Impact Coaching Academy and gained my certification in Professional Life Coaching, building on my years of experience of coaching and mentoring. From there I completed Partner Recovery Training with the American Association of Sex Addiction Therapy (AASAT) under Dr Doug Weiss PhD and will pursue their certification in the future. Most recently I completed the the APSATS making me the only coach in the UK with training in the Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model. What I love about APSATS is that it is the only place that exists solely to serve the partner, where they are the most important person. This is so important when the partner is more often treated as an add-on to the addicts’ recovery.
I have so much hope for women on this journey. I love watching women regain clarity and power in their lives, regardless of (and often in spite of) the actions of their addicted husband or partner. It gives me so much joy to watch a woman grow, to find her voice and begin to speak for her needs. When women start to see themselves as they truly are, worthy of love and deserving of respect and care, a beautiful transformation begins to happen right before your eyes, a transformation that brings peace and contentment and a more fulfilling life.
I live in Durham, England with my husband and two daughters who are entering their teenage years. I love to spend time with my family and in my spare time I enjoy reading and visiting new places.
Testimonials For Coach Cat
"The support and encouragement I have received from Cat is amazing! She has taken me one step at a time and I have really felt like we are in this together" - E, England
“Coaching with Cat has been such a validating and positive experience. This process has given me the courage to face some of my demons regarding triggers and issues with physical intimacy that I had been hiding from. It has also given me clarity about my next steps and ideas to improve my relationship. I have a clearer idea of how I want to integrate this whole nightmare into my life in a really positive way! - F, England
“Cat has been a blessing and help in a very dark time for me. The support and encouragement from her has been invaluable and has given me a clearer understanding of how to take proper care of myself through this process. Working with Cat has taught me so much about myself.” – C, England
“The opportunity to work with Cat came over two years from discovery date. I was on a plateau of complacency, fed up with recovery and feeling very tired of it all. With Cat’s help I am now feeling re-energized and positive again. I only wish such support had been available to me during the early crisis time when I felt so alone, so ashamed and so scared” – F, England
Group Coaching For Betrayal Trauma
Workbook: Intimate Treason
Intimate Treason is a self-help workbook for any woman in an intimate relationship with her sexually addicted spouse. This book will lead her to develop a better understanding of her own trauma, her marriage, and her unique path through recovery and healing. Because BTR believes that every woman in trauma deserves a supportive circle of sisters for her recovery, we don’t expect you to power through such workbooks alone! Facilitated by Coach Cat, this Facebook-based workbook study provides a SAFE space for you to read, write and share your responses to the content of each chapter. Participants are invited to post your work and invite feedback from others (to whatever degree you feel able and comfortable). As your facilitator, Coach Cat will keep the group safely on track, support you through exploring your most intimate betrayals, and help you gain the most possible (and practical) recovery during our 3 months together. Workbook study includes 3 Facebook Live Q&A sessions with Coach Cat.
What’s great about a Facebook-based workbook study? (1) It’s schedule- and geography-independent, meaning you can participate from anywhere in the world, at any time of day, in any time zone. (2) It’s both convenient and private. Our Facebook group functions as a “secret” group, meaning it employs the highest possible Facebook privacy settings. Nobody outside the group knows you’re in it, or even that the group itself exists. (3) It’s affordable, meaning you get a quality healing and growth environment for $10 per week.