The holidays can be a point of difficulty for many. Old memories, lost relationships, and feelings of longing and sadness can set in. BTR would like to offer hope, in the face of trials this season by sharing some wisdom from the scriptures. 

Found in Isaiah 54:4-17, we see that beauty, honesty, and growth exists within our struggles. It reads: 

4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 

We Are Never Left Alone

5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

6 For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.

9 For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee.

Peace Can Be Found In The Midst Of Trials

10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

We Must Not Fear 

16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.  

Anne, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, states, “Growing close to God is so important because He’s really truly the only person that can help us through this mess that we didn’t cause. During this season of thinking about our Savior, Jesus Christ, and about our Heavenly Father, God, who loves us and cares about us and who gave us the gift of his Son. I want you to know that he loves you and that he cares about you.”

 Anne goes on to share, “There was a 9-month period where I read my scriptures and I prayed that I felt hopeless. I felt despair. I felt awful, but I continued to pray and search.” 

Faith Can Sustain Us During Turmoil

Anne shares her analysis of these beautiful scripture passages. She states, “We may be widows, we may be in a situation where we have been victimized by someone else, but all of trials that go along with that will be made right somehow, which by the way, I have not seen in my own life yet, and I don’t even know what that means, but it does bring me peace that here a prophet talks specifically about that.”

She goes to on explain, “Verse 6: For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused.

So, he’s saying there: this is a woman who is grieved and forsaken and she’s been refused, she’s been harmed. Through no fault of your own you’ve been rejected.”

And then in verse 7: For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

Anne looks back and remembers this time of loneliness, “I think that small moment for me was 9 months long of praying and getting no answers. Praying and getting no comfort. I remember going in my closet and just bawling because the pain was so excruciating. It was an awful time, and now I do feel his peace.”

We Can Stand Strong

Anne continues to explain her thoughts, ” In verse 8 he says: In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee.

Then in verse 9 he talks about Noah and how the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth. I think this is an interesting verse to put here because the plague of abuse and pornography is similar to the flood that Noah experienced. It is everywhere, it touches everything.

And then he tells us in verse 10 that the mountains shall depart, and the hills will be removed; Meaning huge big things will happen in our life. Huge changes. Serious, serious stuff, that will harm us perhaps, that will hurt us, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed. We are promised God’s peace as we turn to him, and one of the blessings of obeying the commandments is peace.

Faith Can Bring Peace And Comfort

Then, in verse 11 He says: O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted. And that is how I was for 9 months right after my ex-husband’s arrest. I was completely tossed and afflicted. But He says: I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.”

You’ve heard on the podcast people talk about a post-betrayal transformation. That’s what God wants for us. He would like us to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes into strong, powerful women who have more-or-less stared Satan down face-to-face and held strong and stood for truth and righteousness.

Finally, Anne concludes, “And then in verse 12 he says: I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. I have no idea what that means, but I assume that it’s wonderful things and blessings coming to us.

Power And Peace Can Be Ours Through Faith

And then 13: And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Verse 14: In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Verse 14 is really important because we have all felt oppressed and we have felt the terror of seeing our families completely ripped apart.

Then he promises us:  15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: (Meaning your enemies) whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.”

He Will Never Leave Us

Anne shares one memory she had while reading this passage, “This reminds me of a time when I was writing in my journal and I was really worried about what my Ex was doing, and I was terrified. I prayed and then I wrote an answer to the prayer, and the answer that I got was that God is in control of everything and Satan exists to provide opposition in this life so that we all have trials and we can learn and grow.

He is also there to destroy people who destroy themselves through their own unhealthy actions, which is sad. People have the consequences of their actions, and when they continue to do those things they are harmed by them. I think that is what this means by: I have created the waster to destroy, meaning people who harm other people eventually are harmed themselves. So, a Christian version of Karma perhaps.”

God Loves You, All Of You

Finalizing this powerful passage, is a promise, “And then God ends with verse 17: No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”

Sisters, we are called upon to be like the Israelites. I am hoping that as we create a healthy army of women who can set boundaries and stand for truth and righteousness, that we can walk through the Red Sea on dry ground.

Together we can release ourselves and our children from the bondage of unhealthy behaviors and of abusive behaviors, to really truly establish peace in our own families, which is what God wants for us.

Safety And Peace Can Be Found 

I don’t know what form that will take, if it will take a no contact boundary or what type of boundary to free us from the bondage of our husband’s sins, if you will, but I do know that as we take 1 step at a time toward peace through setting boundaries, through obedience to the commandments, that God will bless us. God loves you.

Jesus Christ is my savior, and for those of you who aren’t religious or those of you who aren’t Christian, I love you and I care about you, and we are all in this together regardless of what religion we are, regardless of where we are in the process. As we hold hands together and support each other in righteousness or emotional health, we will walk through the sea of sadness and of terror on dry ground and make it to the other side.

Have a Merry, Merry Christmas and until the New Year, stay safe out there.    

Full Transcript: 

Anne:  Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.

Yes, I have a cold.

This will be the last podcast until the New Year, so our next episode will be January 8th. I’m going to take a break for 2 weeks for Christmas. I just want you to know that I love you and I care about you.

For our Christmas episode this year I’m going to read from Isaiah. If you’re thinking: Oh, I want another episode, where is another episode from the next 2 weeks? I want you to listen to this one over and over and over because the goal is to bring you hope.

Now, I know some of the listeners are not Christian, but I’m a Christian and so I’m going to speak from my own experience. I hope this still brings you hope.

Scriptures Can Help Us

This is from Isaiah Chapter 54:4-17

4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

I’m going to say that one more time. I shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

6 For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.

9 For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee.

God Can Lead Us

10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.  

We Are One In Christ

I love Isaiah, I’ve always loved Isaiah, and I wanted to cover just a few of these scriptures. This brought me so much peace this morning as I was studying.

First of all, growing close to God is so important because He’s really truly the only person that can help us through this mess that we didn’t cause. During this season of thinking about our Savior, Jesus Christ, and about our Heavenly Father, God, who loves us and cares about us and who gave us the gift of his Son. I want you to know that he loves you and that he cares about you.

I believe that through the scriptures and through prayer that all of us can find comfort. I do want to say that there was a 9-month period where I read my scriptures and I prayed that I felt hopeless. I felt despair. I felt awful, but I continued to pray, and I continued to read the scriptures and I continued to obey the commandments.

I think it’s imperative that during this trial that is of no fault of our own that we obey the commandments ourselves because the commandments protect us, and God makes us promises when we do that.

The parts that really stand out to me are Isaiah 54 verse 4: and thou shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

Meaning, we may be widows, we may be in a situation where we have been victimized by someone else, but all of trials that go along with that will be made right somehow, which by the way, I have not seen in my own life yet, and I don’t even know what that means, but it does bring me peace that here a prophet talks specifically about that.

And then in verse 5 he says: For thy Maker is thine husband;

I’ve been thinking about all of the things that I wish I had a husband for. To protect my family, to provide for us, and I realized that God can be that person for me during this time of my widowhood. That I can have a provider and a protector, and that if I turn to God and trust him, he has promised me those things.

We Are Never Rejected By God

Verse 6: For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused.

So, he’s saying there: this is a woman who is grieved and forsaken and she’s been refused, she’s been harmed. Through no fault of your own you’ve been rejected.

And then in verse 7: For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

I think that small moment for me was 9 months long of praying and getting no answers. Praying and getting no comfort. I remember going in my closet and just bawling because the pain was so excruciating. It was an awful time, and now I do feel his peace.

In verse 8 he says: In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee.

His Mercy Carries Us

Then in verse 9 he talks about Noah and how the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth. I think this is an interesting verse to put here because the plague of abuse and pornography is similar to the flood that Noah experienced. It is everywhere, it touches everything.

And then he tells us in verse 10 that the mountains shall depart, and the hills will be removed; Meaning huge big things will happen in our life. Huge changes. Serious, serious stuff, that will harm us perhaps, that will hurt us,

(Verse 10 continued) but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed. We are promised God’s peace as we turn to him, and one of the blessings of obeying the commandments is peace.

Then, in verse 11 He says: O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted. And that is how I was for 9 months right after my ex-husband’s arrest. I was completely tossed and afflicted. But He says: I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

You’ve heard on the podcast people talk about a post-betrayal transformation. That’s what God wants for us. He would like us to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes into strong, powerful women who have more-or-less stared Satan down face-to-face and held strong and stood for truth and righteousness.

We Are Sustained By God

And then in verse 12 he says: I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. I have no idea what that means, but I assume that it’s wonderful things and blessings coming to us.

And then 13: And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

(Verse 14) In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Verse 14 is really important because we have all felt oppressed and we have felt the terror of seeing our families completely ripped apart.

Then he promises us:  15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: (Meaning your enemies) whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

Faithfulness Can Help Us Heal

This reminds me of a time when I was writing in my journal and I was really worried about what my Ex was doing, and I was terrified. I prayed and then I wrote an answer to the prayer, and the answer that I got was that God is in control of everything and Satan exists to provide opposition in this life so that we all have trials and we can learn and grow.

He is also there to destroy people who destroy themselves through their own unhealthy actions, which is sad. People have the consequences of their actions, and when they continue to do those things they are harmed by them. I think that is what this means by: I have created the waster to destroy, meaning people who harm other people eventually are harmed themselves. So, a Christian version of Karma perhaps.

And then God ends with verse 17: No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.  

Sisters, we are called upon to be like the Israelites. I am hoping that as we create a healthy army of women who can set boundaries and stand for truth and righteousness, that we can walk through the Red Sea on dry ground.

Freedom From Fear Can Be Ours

Together we can release ourselves and our children from the bondage of unhealthy behaviors and of abusive behaviors, to really truly establish peace in our own families, which is what God wants for us.

I don’t know what form that will take, if it will take a no contact boundary or what type of boundary to free us from the bondage of our husband’s sins, if you will, but I do know that as we take 1 step at a time toward peace through setting boundaries, through obedience to the commandments, that God will bless us. God loves you.

Jesus Christ is my savior, and for those of you who aren’t religious or those of you who aren’t Christian, I love you and I care about you, and we are all in this together regardless of what religion we are, regardless of where we are in the process. As we hold hands together and support each other in righteousness or emotional health, we will walk through the sea of sadness and of terror on dry ground and make it to the other side.

Have a Merry, Merry Christmas and until the New Year, stay safe out there.    

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