If you don’t want a divorce, there are several alternatives to consider. The fear of starting over can be a major hurdle.
1. Reasons Why Women Don’t Want A Divorce
Regardless of age, most women feel intense fear and concern about divorce. I’ve never met a woman who wants a divorce. Women don’t want a divorce because answering these questions seems daunting:
- How will I provide for myself and my children?
- What if this was my only chance at love and partnership?
- Isn’t divorce wrong?
- What if he changes at some point, and I miss out on it?
- What if I spend the rest of my life alone?
- Where will I live?
- What if everyone believes his version of the story?
- I’ve never worked, how will I get a job?
These are perfectly valid reasons you don’t want a divorce. The BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop helps women work through these fears and offers practical strategies you can practice again and again to free yourself from fear and proactively work toward confidence and empowerment.
2. Valid Reasons Women Don’t Want a Divorce
Here are some of the valid reasons women don’t want a divorce:
- Financial Stability: How will I support myself and my children?
- Fear of Loneliness: What if this was my only chance at love?
- Moral and Social Judgements: Isn’t divorce wrong? What if everyone believes his version of the story?
- Career Inexperience: I’ve never worked; how will I find a job?
3. When You Don’t Have The Option of Not Divorcing
Divorce is not a choice for some women. Divorce may be the only option if a woman is being abused or if her husband has had an affair and left her.
When you have no choice, it’s so difficult to come to grips with divorce, especially when you don’t want a divorce.
If your husband is emotionally and psychologically abusive, seeking professional help is crucial. Betrayal Trauma Coaches can provide you with the emotional support and guidance to get yourself to emotional safety.
4. Being Educated About Abuse Is Empowering
Even if you don’t want to get divorced, when you’re educated about abuse, you can make difficult decisions that will improve your quality of life. Listen to the FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to learn more about how betrayal, manipulation, and coercion are forms of abuse that require you to protect yourself.
5. Starting Over Is Possible
Feeling trapped in a marriage without viable options is a common experience. Many women fear starting over, thinking it’s too late. But with the right support, you can create a new beginning that prioritizes your emotional safety and well-being.
Even if you don’t want a divorce right now, it’s essential to recognize that starting over is possible. With support networks like Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, you have access to a community that understands and offers practical strategies to move forward.
Attend a BTR Group Session or schedule an individual session TODAY to explore your options in a safe and supportive environment.
Thank you for sharing your story and helping others.
I left an abusive marriage after 40 years. Even though I worked throughout the marriage, I could only take low-paying jobs because I had full responsibility for the kids and house so he could have his career. Now I’m having to find a job to support myself at age 69 since my monthly Social Security doesn’t even begin to cover my living expenses. DON’T WAIT TOO LONG, leave while you’re still young enough to build up your income/career/retirement for yourself. You don’t want to be stuck like me with only two awful options.
I divorced a porn addict after 14 years and 2 children. Five years after our divorce I found out that he recently was convicted of a sex crime against a minor. He had been exercising visitation rights with our children all along without my ever knowing he had charged with this crime! No one had any legal obligation to tell me! After he spent 10 years in the sex offender list, he began to repair his on-line reputation using a company and using my deceased daughter’s name to raise money for a non profit. I have tried to raise awareness to those involved but I am an easy witness to discredit as I let him visit with our children!! Horrible injustice against innocent victims. You just can’t legislate morality. He continues to betray without remorse for anyone but himself.
I’m in a mess of a marriage, the third for both of us he pays heavy spousal support to #1. AT 67, I’m retired based on he “promised to take care of me and let me enjoy life after working so hard as a single mom for years”. I missed the red flags, and with in the first year the mask was slipping. After he drained me financially, so I couldn’t afford to leave, he used my credit score to be able to purchase “our dream home”. He’s now facing health issues and planning to retire so he can “enjoy the last years he has”, while living off the savings that was supposed to support us and using it to provide the spousal support he’s responsible for. I want out so badly, don’t know where to go, and the dollars just don’t add up unless I live under a palm tree and eat cat food, joking, but not really joking since it could be reality…..