Co-parenting with a narcissist husband or ex can be tough. Here are 7 ways your he might try to undermine you and your kids, along with 7 ways to overcome it:

1. Gaslighting: Narcissistic men are good at making you doubt yourself. They might say you’re overreacting when you’re not. They may say your helicopter parenting when you’re not. Be on the lookout for how he tries to undermine your self confidence.
2. Using The Kids To Hurt You: A narcissistic ex may manipulate the kids to hurt you. Or they may want to chaos chaos and so they undermine the children’s medical care, extra curricular activities, or school work.
3. Playing the victim: Narcissistic men might twist things to make themselves look like the victim. They may exaggerate situations to get sympathy from others and make you seem like the bad one.
4. Undermining your authority: They might try to take control by making decisions without asking you. Or tell you’re children that you’re not smart or not a good parent.
5. Using money as leverage: A narcissistic ex could use money to control you by withholding child support or making unfair demands.
6. Seeking revenge: Narcissistic men may hold grudges and act out of spite.
7. Lack of empathy: A narcissistic husband or ex won’t understand or care about your feelings. This will make co-parenting really hard.

How Do Stay Sane When C0-Parenting With A Narcissist?

Co-parenting with a narcissist requires a strategic and mindful approach. Here are seven ways to make the process more tolerable:

1. Set Firm Boundaries

To learn how to set boundaries in a strategic way, consider enrolling in The BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop.

“I’d been to so many therapists. They just kept telling me to “set boundaries.” What a joke. It never worked. But then I enrolled in The Living Free Workshop at Betrayal Trauma Recovery, and holy cow do these ladies know what they’re doing. I could tell immediately that they’d been through it and figured out how to be safe from these dudes. Thanks so much BTR!!!”

2. When Co-Parenting With A Narcissist Communication Won’t Help

Since communication is just another way for the narcissist to manipulate us, at Betrayal Trauma Recovery we’ve learned that we can’t count on communication to resolve anything. It helps when you know that communication won’t do anything to stop him from causing chaos. Instead, use effective boundaries that don’t need to be “communicated” (like the ones we teach in The Living Free Workshop).

3. Use a Parenting App

Parenting apps can help because everything is documented and there are calendars and info banks to use to limit communication as much as possible.

4. When Co-Parenting With A Narcissist, Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of your own physical and emotional well-being is crucial when dealing with a narcissistic co-parent. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and seek support from friends, family, or an online support group for women.

5. Focus on Your Children’s Well-being

Keep your focus on what’s best for your children. Avoid hurting your children by promoting their narcissistic dad’s behavior as “love” instead, say, “I’m so sorry. I felt that way too. He hurt me too. I’m sorry he doesn’t seem capable enough to love someone as lovable as you.”

6. Develop a Support Network

Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and professionals who understand your situation and can offer guidance and encouragement. Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session to talk to other women who know exactly what you’re going through.

7. When Co-Parenting With A Narcissist, Stay Informed

Educate yourself about narcissistic behavior and its impact on co-parenting. Listen to The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to hear other women’s stories and how they coped.

If you’re struggling to co-parent with a narcissist and need support, check out our Group Session Schedule. We’d love to see you in a Group Session TODAY.