Many women in our community report that they experience higher levels of trauma during the holidays. If you’ve had similar experiences, know that you’re not alone.
Emotional Abusers Weaponize Holidays
Abusive men tend to commit more abusive acts against their partners during the holidays, partially because they can’t handle it when their partners focus their attention on anything besides them. The holidays are a time when victims focus on many other things that make them happy. Abusive men can’t handle that, so they tend to create more chaos.
Victims of Emotional Abuse Can Seek Safety Through Appropriate Boundaries
While we cannot control the actions of others, we can work toward safety through appropriate boundaries.
Rather than using an ineffective boundary method, such as an If-Then statement (if you yell at me, I will ask you to leave…) try this:
The BTR Boundaries Model
We know that effective boundaries are not statements, ultimatums, or requests. Instead, they are actions that you take to separate yourself from harm.
When a situation arises where you feel emotionally unsafe, ask yourself, “What action can I take to separate myself from the harm that is making me feel unsafe?”
BTR.ORG is Here For You
Setting boundaries, especially during the holidays, can feel overwhelming. If you’re new to the BTR Boundaries Model, please have compassion with yourself. No one is an expert at boundary-setting in the beginning.
The BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop can is a fantastic resource for women learning how to set boundaries. Enroll today.