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4 Phrases That Enable Abuse

by | Abuse Literacy, Boundaries

America May Be Closed For Business, But Abuse Is Not

Even though businesses are closing or reducing their hours or modes of service, abusers don’t stop.

-Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma REcovery

During times of crisis, domestic abuse escalates to terrifying degrees.

At BTR, we believe that every woman deserves complete physical, sexual, and emotional safety in her life.

Abuse Does Not Stop In A Crisis

This type of abuse is not related to stress or marital issues. It isn’t a communication issue.

Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

When women experience emotional and verbal abuse, family and friends are often dangerously quick to enable the abuse by justifying the abuser with phrases like:

  • “He’s just stressed.”
  • “Be patient, he’ll figure it out.”
  • “At least he’s not hitting you.”
  • “Everyone is stressed right now during this crisis.”

Statements like this harm women and passively permit abuse. What they are implying is that divorce or separation is the worst-case scenario.

What they don’t realize is that she’s already in the worst-case scenario: An abusive situation.

Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Abuse Doesn’t Just Go Away On Its Own

Similar to the initial claims about Covid-19, that if everyone just stayed calm it would go away on its own, those who enable abuse seem to believe the falsity that if the victim just stays calm, the abuse will stop.

A victim cannot control an abuser and her degree of calmness has zero effect on her abuser’s behaviors.

Instead, family and friends can encourage and help facilitate the victim in finding safety from abuse.

Finding Safety From Abuse During a Crisis

While it may be impossible for victims to leave the same physical space as their abuser during a crisis, there are ways that women can minimize the impact of the abuse:

How Can I Find Support In a Crisis?

Tragically, too many women are left unsupported during crises. Abusers condition victims to isolate themselves from support. With the added isolation of global crises like natural disasters and pandemics, victims are in perilous danger.

The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets online daily in multiple time zones, offering every victim the opportunity to process trauma, ask questions, and make connections with other victims, in a safe space.

Join today and find the support that you deserve.

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